Her plan was printed and folded neatly in her hand. It had to work.
Padding silently back toward the office door, she made a production of making sure they heard her coming this time. Smiling tightly at all of them, she raised her now empty coffee cup. “Thank you for the coffee, Seren, and for letting me use the computer.” Daring a glance at Travis, she wished she hadn’t. His eyes, those beautiful, golden eyes, lightened when they connected with her own. Heat spread through her, that now familiar warmth that only he could induce, as if just being near him, being seen by him, could make everything else disappear. She loved him so much she ached with it, and hated herself even more for what she was doing. Setting the empty cup in the sink, she murmured, “I’m gonna head back to the loft and shower.”
She avoided Travis’s gaze as she slipped out of the kitchen, walking quickly across the yard to the barn. Climbing the stairs, she hid in the bathroom, taking a longer than necessary showerbefore taking an obnoxious amount of time getting herself dressed. Combing through her mess of curls with curl cream, drying it with the diffuser, and then covering some of the bruising with concealer.
When she exited, she was surprised that Travis wasn’t waiting for her, but one glance out the window showed that he was crossing the yard. Grabbing her purse, she slid it on over her shoulder and waited until he had climbed the stairs, pushing the door open to enter.
“Hey, good morning,” he murmured quietly, stepping toward her. She smiled tightly, but managed to avoid his embrace. If he put his arms around her, if he held her, she would break.
“Morning,” she whispered, beelining for the door. “I’m going to run to the store real quick for a few things. I’ll be right back.”
“Would you like me to go with you?” he asked, stepping back toward the door with her.
She shook her head vehemently, snapping out a harsh, “No!” He stopped, his light brown brows lowering over his eyes briefly. “I mean, no, I’ll be fine. I just have to grab some umm, some— Some stuff.”
His eyebrows rose, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. “Ahh. I understand.”
He did?
“You don’t have to be embarrassed around me, I hope you know that,” he said, tucking his hands into his pockets. “I’m not afraid of a little blood.”
Blood?
Oooohhhhh. He thought she’d started her period.She lowered her eyes to the floor, playing it off. “Uhh, right. Well, I’m just going to go get thatstuff—”
“I’ll be here when you get back. But if you want me to help—”
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” She bolted for the door, fairly flying down the stairs as she escaped. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire.
Only after she’d climbed in behind the wheel of her car and headed down the driveway did she question whether this was a good idea. Neal was watching her, she knew that. Knew that he knew where to find her. Then again, maybe this would make it easier. If she just disappeared—
But she made it to the small grocer down the road with no issues, grabbed a few random items, then doubled back to grab a box of tampons just for show—and was headed back to Blue Haven without having killed nearly enough time. She needed to avoid him for as long as possible, before she had to cleave what they’d started in two.
He wasn’t in the loft when she got back, and the night of little to no sleep caught up with her. Sliding into the bed beneath the sheets, she pulled them up to her chin, closing her eyes.
When she woke, her back was curled against Travis’s chest, his heavy, warm arm draped over her waist, holding her to him tightly. His deep, even breathing told her he was asleep, too. The days of driving and the time difference and the lack of sleep the night before had clearly drained them both.
Sliding out from under his arm, she sighed when he didn’t wake up, and she disappeared into the bathroom. Washing her hands, she stepped out, surprised to see him awake and sitting up on the bed. “Are you feeling better?”
Nodding, she crossed to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water. She drank half of it before capping it and setting it on the counter beside her. The paper was tucked into her back pocket for safe keeping, and it currently felt like it was burning her alive. “I think I’m going to go outside, get some fresh air—”
Travis’s eyes were on her as she left, and she’d made it halfway down the stairs when his footsteps sounded behind her. “Roxy—”
She didn’t stop, continuing down the steps. Reaching the bottom, she looked around, unsure what to do. She wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready for any of it. Panic clawed at her as she sensed him behind her.
“Okay, what is your problem?” Travis snapped, clamping one hand onto her elbow and twisting her around to face him. She yanked her arm away, not that it took much effort because he wasn’t holding her tightly. Glaring up at him, she was stonily silent, her heart breaking wide open in her chest. He pointed toward the loft and ground out, “What the hell happened, Red? You’ve hardly said three words to me since we got up this morning, you won’t look me in the eyes… So what happened between you coming on my face last night and this morning? Is this because of what I said last night?”
She flushed a brilliant shade of red and glanced around, grateful there was no one around to hear him. Memories of Travis’s head between her thighs, his tongue doing deliciously wicked things to her clit and his fingers going deep to find that special spot… She swallowed hard and begged her body not to betray her, forcing her breathing to remain steady and wishing her heart wasn’t pounding in her chest at the memory of how hard she’d come, or what had followed… the way she’d so desperately wanted exactly what he was offering, what he was asking for in return. She wanted it, all of it.
But even those passionately whispered words couldn’t change what had already been put into motion, and she knew what she had to do. She needed Travis to go, to leave, to be safe, even if it killed her in the process. Her heart hammered in her throat, fear radiating through her being like a flash flood all overagain. If Travis got hurt because of her… no. She wouldn’t even think of it.
“Travis—”
He took one step toward her, towering over her. “Don’t lie to me, Red. I can see it in your eyes, on your face. Don’t lie to me.What happened?”
“You think you know me just from a few months of seeing me come into your gym or because I take your class? You think you know me because we were stuck in a car together? Or because we fucked like bunnies in a shitty highway motel? You don’t know shit about me,” she snapped, shaking her head. It killed her to do it. He was kind to her, gentle in a way that made her heart ache, and didn’t deserve anything that she was about to say. He wouldn’t know that it was all lies. He couldn’t know. She gripped her thumbs inside her palms until it felt like her nails would break skin, forced herself to scoff, steeling her face into a sneer that she thought might just break her. “I’m a whore, Travis. Always have been, always will be. That’s why Neal has been the way he is. I had an on again off again fuck agreement with Freeman, among others. He’s jealous because I give him plenty of reason to be. So you happened to be a convenient fuck on a really long road trip, but don’t mistake this for more than that. I’m sorry you became attached, and this was fun while it lasted, but it’s done. I don’t want you to stay.”
Digging into her back pocket, she held out the piece of paper that she’d had printed out while she’d been at the big house. He opened it, those golden eyes flicking across the page. A boarding ticket, paid in full. Departing the small airport just north of Petoskey to Austin, TX, tonight. His eyes came back to hers, and she swallowed hard. A muscle ticked in Travis’s jaw as he stared down at her. His chest rose and fell with his uneven breaths, but she didn’t look away from his eyes. The setting sun made the honey brown color of them fairly glow as he stared at her,eyes squinting against the sunlight. She would miss his eyes, his smile, that dimple in his cheek hidden by his beard, the low rumble of his voice as he talked to her while her head rested against his chest. She needed him to walk away. For his own safety. And the safety of her heart.
