We loaded up and Adam glanced over at me. “You good?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Just follow my lead and you’ll be fine.”
This would be my first serious call since my shift started. It was now or never.
We pulled up to the scene and I reached for the door handle. My hand shook as I grabbed it, and for a minute I wondered if I could do this. But did I have a choice? These people were depending on me.
A few steps on wobbly feet toward the scene and my heart rate took off at a sprint. I froze as memories of that day assaulted me.
I smiled down at the older man. His eyes were as wide as saucers as he stared at me, inhaling the oxygen I had him hooked up to and squeezing my arm tightly. You could tell he was in good health, and this was not on his bingo card. His vitals were good, but that didn’t mean anything. His symptoms could be warning signs of an impending heart attack.
Suddenly, the ambulance swerved and jolted. Instinctively my arm shot out to provide myself additional balance, but just then I flew hard against the wall as the ambulance tipped to the side. Fear gripped me as pain radiated up my arm and my head throbbed from the impact.
Pain. So much pain. Then wetness coated my face and my vision went dark.
Chapter Thirty-Four
ADAM
I stoppedand glanced back at Lyla, sensing something was wrong. She stood frozen in place, eyes locked on the scene of the accident in front of us. I closed the distance and came to stand in front of her.
“Hey.” I cupped her face with my hands. “What’s wrong, love?”
She barely acknowledged my touch. She was somewhere else, not here with me.
Fuck. I quickly assessed her, already knowing the telltale signs I’d find. Her breaths came fast and I could feel her shaking under my hands. I moved one hand down to the pulse in her neck, feeling it beating wildly. I needed her to come back to me. My heart screamed that she needed to be my priority, but my brainknew my attention was being pulled in multiple directions, and that wouldn’t help anyone. Not Lyla, not the people in the wreck, and not my fellow responders. All my training felt useless at that moment, and that scared the crap out of me.
Just then, a second ambulance pulled up and Kyle hopped out. As a paramedic, he was able to pick up shifts at other stations throughout the county. They were always in shorter supply, and it was important to have paramedic units available throughout the area at all times. This kind of call would likely need that extra support. Some of the tension eased from my shoulders, feeling grateful he was there and could take lead until I could make sure Lyla was good. With multiple victims, I would still be needed though.
Kyle took one look at us and his lips formed a tight line. He tipped his chin toward Lyla. “That’s definitely familiar.” Former military, he battled with his own PTSD. The empathy that shone in his eyes confirmed what I had already suspected was happening with Lyla.
“Can you guys take lead? I’ll be there in a minute.” I had no idea how I was going to pull her out, but I had to try. I’d do anything to stop her from feeling pain, or fear, or sorrow.
Kyle shot me a single clipped nod before walking away.
I pulled Lyla to me, wrapping my arms around her. “You’re safe, love. I’m here. Breathe with me. Inhale.” I counted to four in my head. “Hold it.” And then seven seconds. “Slowly let it out.” I went through it again. “Feel my heartbeat?”
She nodded slightly and relief flooded me. Wetness soaked my shirt and her arms came around my back, giving me hope that she would be okay. Together we could get through this.
Owen strode toward us, brows pinched tightly together. “What’s going on?”
Lyla stiffened in my arms, but I held her tightly in place. “She’s having a panic attack.”
He glanced at the accident and then back at me. “Did you know this might be a problem?”
I couldn’t say no. I had this concern last week when I drove her to physical therapy. “I thought she was handling it.” At least I could say that with confidence.
His eyes narrowed on me, and he crossed his arms. “She’ll need to be cleared before she can ride again.” His gaze softened and he waved to the ambulance. “Put her in the back of the bus with some oxygen.”
He turned and hurried back toward the call. I wasn’t looking forward to finishing the conversation with him later, but I couldn't think about that at the moment.
Lyla continued to shake in my arms until she leaned back to look up at me. “You have to go help,” she sniffled, her voice still shaky.
“Yeah, I know.” I let out a heavy sigh, my insides still turning with worry. “Just give me a min.”
I held her against my chest, letting myself finally embrace the fear of possibly losing her once again, except this time in a way I was not equipped to deal with. If she was broken and bruised I knew what to do. But this? I felt completely and utterly powerless to do anything.
