That ding seemed to bother him personally. His eyes darkened as I stared into the deep-brown pools of his irises. I knew nothing about him. Not really. His personality wasn't wonderful. No, that was another artfully fed lie. I trusted August, and he was picky when it came to who he kept in his inner circle. Reed couldn’t be that bad, but allowing him to become my friend would open me up to vulnerabilities that I didn’t want anyone to see.
He cocked an eyebrow. “Someone like me?”
“I don’t know why I said that. We don’t know each other very well.”
“You’re right. I’m attempting to show you who I am. I haven’t made judgements about you, though I certainly could.”
“You’re kind of a playboy.”
“Not anymore, though I’m admittedly surprised by your declaration. Are you sure you want to hold my twenties against me, lemondrop?”
He had a point. I was throwing an assumption at him, one that was untrue. It was all a ploy to keep some sort of distance emotionally. “Whatever, Reed. Leopards can’t change their spots.”
“Keep your distance then, instead of getting to know me. I remember you graced the internet in more than one scandal. Daddy’s money couldn’t save you from the media shitstorm constantly swirling around you.”
That actually stung and I had to keep myself from physically recoiling. Reed had no idea the torture my parents had put me through. They forced me to hang out in crowds I had no business being part of. Seedy crowds. Wanting publicity for their troubled daughter to show that they were managing a huge enterprise while dealing with rumors and worse.
The reminder was too much. Rage burned through me, mixed with anger. Everything that I’d been trying to forget bubbled to the surface. Before I could even process what I was doing, I raised my non-injured hand to slap him across the face, but he caught it. Reed made a point to grab only my fingers and avoided my wrist entirely. Even when I was about to make a terrible decision, he was careful not to trigger me again. His behavior was maddening.
“Asshole.” I tossed the word out, but it wasn’t how I felt. Not really.
His eyes blazed with heat. “Lift your hand to my face again and I’ll set you across my thighs, whether you want me to or not. I’ll make your ass so sore from my paddle smacking it that you won’t sit comfortably for the rest of our night.”
I glared at him, deeply irritated with myself. Worse than that, I would let him do exactly that, but I knew it wouldn’t give me everything I needed. Taking a few more breaths, I glanced down at my feet.
"I apologize, Reed. But I know nothing would excuse that response. My parents were awful, but you don’t know all the details.”
“You’re forgiven. It’s that simple, because I don’t know anything about the situation. If you want to tell me, I’ll listen. Despite your attitude, I want you here.”
“Why?”
“Because if I do have a concussion, at least I know you won’t let anything happen to me. As much as you’re throwing daggersin my direction, you feel something for me. I don’t know what it is yet, but I’ll figure it out.”
Reed pinched my chin in between his pointer finger and thumb. If he wasn’t glowering, the action would have made me aroused. I tried to hide my vulnerability by looking away but he turned my head.
“It’s a deep loathing. There. Now you don’t have to guess.” But he hadn’t given me a reason to feel that way. I was dodging the real heart of it. Opening to him about my past would rear all the ugly, worthless feelings I had about myself.
“There you go judging me again. What gives you the right?”
“I’m not judging.” My voice sounded cold, hollow. It wasn’t like me to speak this way, especially not to someone I wanted a relationship with. And I did want one, though I continued to pretend otherwise.
“No, it’s not you being judgmental. It’s even worse.”
I squirmed. He seemed to know me better than I thought he did. It pissed me off just a little bit but I said nothing to confirm or deny his suspicions.
“I think that you’re worried that you might actually feel something for me,” he suggested. “If you allow one tiny sliver of sunshine into the fortress you’ve built around yourself it might crumble. Is that it? Are you throwing shade at me just so you don’t have to process your emotions?”
“Fuck off,” I growled.
“No, lemondrop. We are going to address this right now. Because if you were anyone else on the planet, once you raised your hand to my cheek, even though you didn’t hit me? I’d have tossed you out of my house.”
I tugged myself away from his reach hard enough that I fell onto the hardwood floor skidding across it on my butt. I hadn’t shared my traumatic experiences with anyone. It was private. A part of my life that no one knew. Not even Karsyn.Reed squatted down to my level, probably searching my eyes for some indication that he was correct. He held his hands out, and I reluctantly allowed him to assist me back into a standing position. His closeness snapped me out of the temporary daze.
“Tell me why you’re shutting down and pulling away, Eloise.”
“I can’t.”
He cupped my face between his hands and for the first time ever, I felt completely seen.
