It cost him a lot to say please, yet I still don’t know how to respond without caving.
Saint: At least tell me you’re okay.
Saint: Lake…
Saint: I’m coming.
Alarmed, I shoot up straighter, noticing the time of his last message and wondering if he’s found me already. I know for him, he won’t give up. Not when it comes to me.
CHAPTER 5
Saint
It took us a minute, but thanks to Holden, I was able to figure out where Lake had gone off to. His hacking skills are superior to most, and without them, I’d still be sitting at home contemplating how to get to my woman.
After a flight into Indiana and then a short drive to the quirky town she’s staying in, I’m standing outside her cabin at three in the morning. To outsiders, my appearance would seem nefarious; however, Lake will understand. She always has.
My need for her is unmatched by anything. Without her presence, I can’t breathe, can’t think rationally. I barely function. Taking in the winter scenery she’s always dreamed of living in, my anger fades. What if this is what Lake has needed all along? She’s constantly surrounded by people who know what happened to her and struggle to hide their own sympathy and pain about it. I’m guilty of it myself, treating Lake like fragile glass when in truth, she survived hell. She’s stronger than anyone else I know, and it’s about time I start showing her that.
Breaking into the cabin isn’t hard. It’s silent as the door closes behind me, and I strip off my boots and coat. Spotting her sleeping form on the couch, the fireplace turned low, and the credits of a movie rolling, I take a moment to admire her.
Glancing around, I notice the loft and figure that must be the lone bedroom, so I shut off the TV, scoop Lake up in my arms, and carry her to bed. Placing her in the center, I remove my clothes but leave hers on. I know what she looks like underneath, but until she’s ready to show me herself, I’ll always respect her modesty.
As I settle in next to her body, she wraps around me in a way she’s only ever done while asleep. Her mumbled, “You came for me,” freezes me still, expecting her to wake up, but she doesn’t.
Learning Lake had run this afternoon, my body revolted. Rage rippled through every cell in my body, needing to find her. It was only because of Mia’s advice that I waited as long as I did before asking Holden for help finding her. I’ve never been good with technology, preferring the power of intimidation. How I’ll rein in the fierce desire to protect Lake is something I haven’t figured out yet. Everyone jokes that I’m more machine than man, but that’s all I know. Protect or kill. It’s been my mission since I was old enough to understand the difference.
First, it was protecting Scotty, then my parents, then Lake when she was born. I don’t know how I knew she would become my everything one day; it was just there, ingrained in me, waiting for its chance.
Throughout my adult life, I’ve been a killing machine more often than not. I spent a few years in Delta Force, a highly specialized unit of the Army. They recruited me out of high school after nearly beating a man to death. Delta militarized me, fine-tuned my skills. I became their specialized weapon; however, leaving them after Lake’s attack was the only way I knew to protect her again. I hadn’t been there in Texas, but I could make sure I’d be there for her in the future. And I have been, every single day.
Since then, it’s been a daily struggle forcing down the natural instinct to slaughter those who defiled her. With the sisters who orchestrated everything all dead, learning the names of the monsters who carried it out has been futile. Unless I force Lake to give them to me, which is something I refuse to do. There’s no need to re-traumatize her.
With her body heat against me like a furnace, my eyes close, and I savor the way she uses me as her own comforting force.
For hours, I simply hold Lake. Soothing her, warming her, so when she begins to moan, her body growing painfully tense, and begins to thrash, I know it’s that time. The time her assault ended. Nothing ever prepares me for how she begs me to kill her as she comes to.
Rolling Lake onto her back, I slide a few inches away and flick on the lamp behind me before cupping her cheek and laying my head flat on the pillow. I stare at her, waiting for her beautiful blue eyes to open and hoping the stark terror washes away quickly. It doesn’t. Her mouth opens to scream, but no sound follows. Sweat trickles down her temples, and she fights herself to consciousness but doesn’t quite win.
“Lake, my sweet haven, come back to me.”
Her eyes glaze over; she’s locked in the past.
Taking a deep breath, I try something Hendrix unknowingly suggested and lean forward. Pressing my lips to Lake’s is like heaven on earth. She’s soft, sweet, and when her body realizes it’s not in the fight for its life, she softens. Her fingers graze up my bare chest, sift through my beard, and hold me closer to her face as we taste each other for the first time. No tongue, no delving deeper, just two sets of lips settling together, learning of a new kind of pleasure.
Drawing back slightly, I search her eyes. Is she back with me? The orbs are glazed still, but for a different reason, as she licks her lips and stares up at me.
“It wasn’t a dream; you’re really here.” I nod, awaiting her anger about the kiss, but I’ll never regret it. “Thank you, Saint.” She sobs miserably and slides over, burying her face in my chest and wiping away her tears on the thick covering of hair. “You’re like a furnace,” she sighs, echoing my thoughts from earlier.
“I’m anything you want me to be,” I whisper into her hair, and she’s fast asleep again, which I know is a first for her. Lake never goes back to sleep after she’s been woken up.
There just might be something to this winter air. Or maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s the way I kissed her out of her fear.
I don’t care what it is, so long as Lake has found the peace she’s been seeking for years. And now that I have somewhere to start, nothing will stop me from giving it to her as often as she wants or needs.
When the sun begins to lighten the cabin, dimmed by the snowstorm that can be seen through a window, I gently leave the bed. After cleaning myself up, the kitchen is my next stop, and I proceed to make Lake breakfast: bacon pancake dippers, over-easy eggs, cinnamon-sprinkled coffee, and a glass of orange juice.
Once I’ve got everything plated and sitting at the island bar, her soft footsteps tread down the stairs. She’s hesitant, perhaps forgetting I was here, but once she sees me, her face lights up. It could be my imagination, but I’ll take anything she offers.
