“I’m so sorry,” she says, appearing horrified as I remove my headphones. “I did not mean to scare you.” Her remorse seems genuine.
“No, it’s fine, I was daydreaming.” Sort of.
“Would you like a drink or snack?” she offers.
“A water with ice, please.” I could use the cool-off for the moment.
I accept the cup, and she offers another apology before moving on. Sipping the refreshing liquid, I roll an ice cube around my mouth before crunching on it and swallowing.
With a few deep breaths, I take out my own snacks from my bag and return to my book, leaving one of the ear cups pushed behind my ear so I’m not taken by surprise again. I easily get lost in my fictional world of romance once again.
Before I know it, we land, and everyone rushes to deplane. I keep to my seat since I hate mingling in crowds like this until I’m the last passenger on the aircraft. Another apology is offered as I thank the pilots and the attendants while making my exit. Immediately, the winter chill nips my nose, and for the first time in far too long, a genuine smile curls my lips as I take the moment to breathe it in.
Taking my time while passing through the airport, I watch other travelers rush from one spot to another. Some are picked up by loved ones, and I’m slammed with regret, wishing I could have had someone with me.
Picking up the rental car is a bit of a hassle, and I almost lose my patience, but I’m finally settled in and driving out of the airport on my way to Santa Claus. I’ve plugged in an audiobook for noise, not really paying attention to anything but the snow-covered roads as a storm slowly begins rolling across the skies.
This is what I’ve always wanted, but now that it’s here, it’s a little scary. I’d hoped to be curled up next to a fire by now, munching on popcorn and watching old reruns of The Closer with Kyra Sedgwick.
The closer I get, the slower traffic moves, until I turn onto the final road, meandering to where I’ll be staying. After checking in and being given instructions to the cabin, I soak in the property’s atmosphere. In a town like this, it doesn’t matter that Christmas passed weeks ago; they enjoy the beauty and magic of the holiday all year long.
Thankfully, when I called this morning, they offered to have groceries delivered before my arrival, knowing the storm was imminent. When I enter, a welcome basket awaits me on the counter with a note stating that my request has been processed and everything has been put away.
The cabin is cozy. Precisely what I pictured from an open floor plan. The entryway leads into the kitchen with the living room to the left. A picturesque fireplace is the focal point of the structure. A loft above the back half of the cabin serves as the bedroom, along with another smaller fireplace. Oversized furniture fills the space with lots of throw pillows and blankets. It’s warm and homey and exactly what I need.
After hauling my bag upstairs, I change into a soft pair of lounge pants, a long-sleeved crop top—something I’d only ever wear when I’m alone—and a pair of fuzzy socks. After plopping down on the bed, phone in hand, I stare at it with trepidation. As soon as it’s turned on, there will be dozens of messages from my family asking where I am and pleading with me to call them back. And I will, just after some much-needed alone time first.
Returning downstairs, I ignite the gas fireplace, grateful it’s not wood-burning because I’d be lost on how to light it properly. Bringing the television to life, I log in to a streaming site and start my show from the first episode before heading to the kitchen for food. I’m starving. I was in such a hurry this morning that I didn’t stop until…well…now, I suppose.
The background noise helps ease some of my anxiety as the wind picks up and howls, flowing between cabins and in through the fireplace chimneys as snow swirls around outside, quickly covering every surface in a heavy blanket.
I find the ingredients for a simple but favorite comfort meal—grilled cheese and tomato soup—and become invested in making the food while watching my show, when a sharp crack makes me jump out of my skin.
With a peek outside the kitchen window, I notice a large branch from one of the trees between cabins has broken off and now sits in the snow, waiting to be buried. It’s a whole new experience to immerse myself in a winter wonderland instead of just dreaming about it.
Despite my heart rate spiking for a second, I feel at peace here. Like I don’t have to spy around every corner, waiting for someone to hurt me. Ridiculous, I know. I’ve been here for only a few hours, but the change of scenery has made such a difference, and I can only hope it helps to improve.
Once my food is ready, I move to the living room and place my dishes on the coffee table, grab a throw pillow, and drop it on the floor to sit on. That’s where I spend the evening, eating my dinner, enjoying a hot drink, and engulfed in my show, before finally settling into the overstuffed cushions of the couch, with a blanket over my feet and a power up of my phone.
As predicted, loads of messages pour in. From Mom and Dad, Saint, my brothers, Hadley, Aria, and Scotlyn. Everyone wanting to know where I am and if I’m okay. The only ones I respond to are Bea and my mom because they’ll respect my need for space and, hopefully, convince everyone else to as well.
After explaining why I took so long to respond, Mom sends me an “I love you” message and asks me to check in with her every couple of days. Just so she knows I’m alive.
Bea sends me a few paragraphs letting me know how loved I am and how worried everyone is, while also telling me to take care.
I love my family, but they can be a little overwhelming.
When I finally open Saint’s messages, a yearning to have him close grips my chest, and I’m not sure how long I’ll last without him near me. With each message, I feel his desperation to know where I am and to have me tell him.
Saint: Why did you leave?
Saint: I could have helped you.
Saint: Where are you?
Saint: Answer me.
Saint: Please.
