“Calm, Heleth,” he soothed. “It’s all part of a political game to them. Given what Isca can do, my guess is that someone wants her to subtly use her abilities on an opponent or some other nonsense. She’ll never evenbe noticed! Might come home with another handsome coin for a day’s trouble. Honestly, I expected this to happen years before.”
“So you’regladI’m about to manipulate people with my magic? And youtrustthe Assembly now?” I asked, incredulous.
“No, on both counts.” His tone and stony face were back to the commanding father I remembered. “You’re smart enough to get around the worst they’ll throw at you. Just like your mother and I were.”
My parents promised to tell me the story of their romantic beginnings when I was married myself or on my twenty-fifth birthday. At this rate, I’d hit twenty-five before I met anyone. From the hints I’d gathered, their story was a bloody one, concluding with secrets kept in return for their silence.
My father cleared his throat, and his voice resonated with unexpected gravity. “Isca, I’m happy you’re about to be offered a chance at a better life than I’ve been able to give you. They won’t ask you to do any bloody work. You’re not the type. And…if you do a good job, they might take notice of your brother when his magic comes in and offer him training. I want my children happy. And you haven’t been happy in years.”
Gods above and below. His words struck harder than any blow. My hardworking, caring father felt guilty for not providing more for us. Tears surged in my eyes, hot and sudden, turning the world into a smear of color.
“Damnit, Taig,” my mother chided my father. “Ya had to go and make her face all puffy before she meets the chancellor.”
***
An unnerving silence replaced my mother’s usual chatter as she cleaned our laundry. The river water was still cold enough from the melting snow in the mountains that bathing in it should’ve been impossible. But being a mage meant free baths in the river year-round.
Warming myself with magic took as much energy from my body as running, so I bathed quickly. I left the frigid water feeling refreshed, with the lingering scent of the herbs I’d worked into the soap clinging to my skin and hair.
The servant’s gown the messenger had handed my mother the night before was a beautiful dark purple shade and fitted at the waist. Although a little too loose, it was quite flattering, at least judging by my reflection in the river.
Something about wearing the Assembly’s garb finally unlocked my mother’s tongue. She’d lived in the fortress for nearly a decade before she married my father, serving as a seamstress. Information about its inner workings poured from her as we traveled to the meeting. But underneath all her advice was an uneasiness I couldn’t ignore.
“Mama, just come out and say it,” I bit out. “You’ve warned me of a million different scenarios. Say what you’re really thinking.”
“Isca.” She turned toward me and grabbed my arms with both hands so fast that I stopped dead in my tracks. “You are my oldest, my wisest, my most responsible child. Your father was right. You have been unhappy for so many years, and I’ve not been able to doanythingabout it.”
She looked down at the ground then back up at me with a glint of regret in her eyes. The second hammer blow of the day slammed into my chest as she said, “The Mother blessed me with too many children to care for. It forced you to be a woman far too early, and you’re still making up formylack while I’ve cared for your father since his accident.I’m sorry.”
The floodgates in my eyes opened again. I blinked away the blurriness as she pulled me into a fierce, breath-stealing hug, the kind I hadn’t felt in too long. For a moment, I was her little girl again.
When we finally resumed walking after a few brushed-away tears, she said, “Sitting at home taking care of me and your father is not what you wanted for yourself. You’re the child I always expected to make the biggest splash. You act meek and prim in front of everyone. But we both know you have more than that inside. You can’t hide from me, girl.”
She was right, as usual. I wanted more than a market stall and bargain mending. Small things, like a bedroom to myself, true friends, not just my siblings, and not having to conceal my hunger so Tegil could have enough food to grow.
But I also wanted to have a voice that people would listen to. I wanted tomatter.
“Your father is getting stronger every day. That means I can start managing the stall while I mend again.”
A few mages glided past us, magic keeping their shoes clean despite the muddy path. Their glances bounced off me as if I were part of the scenery, wholly unimportant.
That was the power of this servant’s dress in action.
The road to the fortress curved sharply upward, still slick with the morning’s mist where the shadows of the heavy stone walls were thickest. The closer we got to the outer gates, the more tangible the hum of power became.
I swallowed hard. My heart pounded with uncertainty as I neared, the dread growing heavier with each step. My mother grew silent under the same weight. We passed under not one but two ancient archways that tested our magical reserves. The spellcraft to fabricate those was lost to history, but the Assembly made certain that everyone who crossed through them either had a charm that let them in or fit neatly into their definition of “good enough.”
I hated it.
As we neared the final archway to the inner courtyard, Mama pulled me toward her and brushed a strand of hair from my eyes. The sound of her low, steady voice, warm and reassuring, calmed my jitters, even more than her magic could have.
“Love,” she said, “Never trust them, and never forget that you’re smart enough to work around them.”
She reached into the folds of her cloak and pulled out a small sprig of lavender. With gentle fingers, she tucked it into my braid. Then she kissed my cheek, turned, and left without looking back.
Something about the way she walked, with her shoulders stiff and head high, felt too definitive. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew I’d be a different person after this meeting.
Every muscle trembled as I stood before the final heavy iron gates, the scent of lavender a faint comfort against what lay within.
