Sighing, Boss added, “My point is, jealousy is a human condition. Weallsuffer from it. And obsession? You think I’m not completely obsessed with my wife? She’s the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I want to see before closing my eyes at night. My love for that woman is all-consuming.”
“Yeah, I know. But?—”
“No buts.” Boss cut him off again. “You’re not your father. You’re not a monster. Because youcanbe obsessed, youcanbe jealous, and yet you don’t act on those baser instincts.”
Fisher’s nostrils flared as he fought to keep his emotions in check.
Is Boss right? Is what I feel normal? Is it possible I can love the right way? Therealway?
“I’ve known you for four years now, Fish. I’ve seen the way you treat people. You’re a good man. And if anyone can break unhealthy cycles, it’s you.”
The back of Fisher’s eyes burned. Hearing Boss, someone he’d grown to respect and admire, call him agood manhealed something in him. Maybe that something was the little boy who’d sought the approval of his own father but had never gotten it.
Boss chuckled. “But don’t get me wrong. If you decide to give in and give love a try, don’t be thinking it’s all gumdrops and gladiolus. There are times it’s hard. Times when you’ll be so mad at your woman you can’t see straight. Times when you doubtyourselfand wonder if you’re enough. But news flash, she’ll feel all those ways too. Loving someone is incredible and awful and then incredible again.” Boss’s teeth flashed white when he smiled at the slowly dying fire. The embers glowed and danced in that magical way only embers could. “And in-between the incredible and awful is the boring, routine, ordinary parts of living a life together.”
Boss held Fisher’s gaze then as he finished. “So you revel in the incredible. You make sure to be gentle with each other through the awful. And you relax and enjoy the comfort of the routine. That’s what it means to truly know incredible, awful, ordinarylove.”
Fisher couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat. It had grown to the size of a watermelon. And he hastily dashed away a tear that had slipped past his barriers to roll down his cheek.
“Welp.” Boss slapped the arms of his chair before pushing to a stand. “I don’t dare keep my wife waiting a minute longer.” He looked around at the mess. “Don’t bother cleaning up. Becky and I will get to it in the morning. Just be sure to douse the fire before you turn in.”
Fisher nodded because that’s all he could manage.
Boss turned once he’d made it to the corner of the building. “Hey, Fish?”
Fisher dashed another tear from his cheek before swinging around in his chair to face the older man. “Yeah?”
“I know it might not feel like it given how all us original Knights are partnered up with our soulmates, but real love,truelove doesn’t just fall out of the sky like frozen airplane toilet water.”
Fisher fell back on his humor because it was the only thing that wouldn’t end with him in tears. Or…moretears. “Wow, Boss. And they callmethe poet.”
Boss chuckled, shook his head, and disappeared around the corner, leaving Fisher to stare into the flames and ponder the big man’s words…
35
Eliza’s head felt like a battlefield where a thousand tiny soldiers waged war.
Groaning, she attempted to pry open her eyes only to be met with a searing pain that made her regret the attempt.
Too bright.
The morning sunlight streaming into her room wassodamn bright it made her miss the time her window had been covered by a tarp.
Her tongue was sandpaper. Her stomach was a cauldron of sloshing foulness. And she had the absoluteworsttaste in her mouth.
The memories of the night’s indulgence flooded back, how she’d cracked open a third, fourth, andfifthbeer despite knowing better.
You idiot, the voice of reason chastised.What were you thinking?
The answer was simple. She’d been thinking she needed oblivion, just a few minutes of not feeling like she would shatter if someone looked at her the wrong way. Just a few hours of being numb instead of raw and exposed.
And now I’m paying for it. I feel just as raw and exposed as ever. Plus, I have the world’s worst hangover.
Brilliant plan, Eliza! Top-notch decision making!
Through the haze of her hangover, she heard the familiar sound of Fisher’s harmonica drifting in from the room next door. A Taylor Swift melody trilled through the air, all happy and upbeat. Which was a stark contrast to the way she felt.
Seriously, Fisher?she thought with annoyance that quickly morphed into anger.You’re over there as happy as a clam while I’m over here with a heart broken into a million irreparable pieces?
