Ace had hopped the first military transport he could find. And he’d made it to Ramstein in time, but—
“Was he injured in the attempt?” Rusty broke into his thoughts, and Ace blinked open his eyes.
Rusty and Glen couldn’t be more physically different. Where Glen had been short and lean, Rusty wastall and bulky. Where Glen had been dark-haired and tawny skinned, Rusty had a mop of auburn hair and too many freckles to count. But they were both exceedinglygentlemen. Both quick to defend. Both willing to volunteer their help to whomever needed it.
Too bad both of them refused to accept who they were.
“The Taliban shot him in the stomach when they heard the SEALs coming.” Ace grimacedat the pain he knew Glen had suffered in his final days. “He survived for nearly forty-eight hours. He might have survived indefinitely had he not already been weakened by the torture.”
“And you couldn’t go to him, even under the auspices of friendship?” There was a sheen in Rusty’s eyes. Such tenderness for such a big, brutal-looking man. The only thing that softened his handsomely craggyface was a set of dimples to die for.
“Oh, I went to him all right. Just as fast as I could. And I actually got there in time. An hour before he passed, in fact. But the doctors were only allowingfamily”—Ace spat out the word like it was poison—“in the room. And since I couldn’t tell anyone that Glen and I had secretly married in New Hampshire the previous fall, I wasn’t family.”
Fora second, Ace was quiet, his mind having traveled back to that awful day. Then, before he even realized he’d opened his mouth, the last of the story poured from him. “I tried to sneak in, but some nurses caught me. I begged his family to let me see him one last time, but his mother and his sister said his final moments should be spent with family, not friends. I would have told them all to go fuckthemselves, but I knew Glen wouldn’t want that. He wouldn’t have wanted a scene, wouldn’t have wanted his family’s last memory to be of me bawling my eyes out by his side and telling him how much I loved him. So I didn’t get to say my goodbyes. I didn’t get to hold his hand at the end. I was left to wait in the hall like an afterthought. Like anobody.”
“Jiminy Christmas.” Rusty ran a handthrough his hair, causing the loose, bouncy curls to riot. “I’m sosorry, man. That’s… It’s awful.”
“Yeah.” Ace nodded. “And it’s one of millions of stories like it. Lord knows I’m not the first homosexual partner to be kept out of a hospital room because in the eyes of whichever law or policy I wasn’t technically family. Or the first one who didn’t receive spousal death benefits. Or the firstone who didn’t get a damn say in funeral arrangements.”
Tears of rage burned the back of his nose. It was an old wound. But it was still raw. “Glen wanted to be cremated.” His voice was a bitter parody of itself. “He wanted his ashes released at thirty-five thousand feet so he could become one with the open sky he loved so much. But it didn’t matter what he wanted or what I told his familyhe wanted. They got to decide what to do with him. Which means now he’s moldering away in the family plot.”
“You didn’t tell his family what you were to him?” Rusty searched his eyes. “Even after he died?”
“Ha!” Ace’s laugh held no humor. “How could I? He hadn’t told them in life, so I couldn’t ignore his wishes in death. I loved him too much,respectedhim too much for that.”
Fora while, nothing but silence passed between them. Then Ace sighed and said, “So now you know why I have a problem with homosexuals remaining closeted. In the end, it always causes more pain.”
“For you, maybe.” Rusty’s jaw hardened. Those damnably tempting dimples in his cheeks deepened. “But his family… They aren’t suffering more. They’re probably suffering less. Their memories of Glen areuntainted by—”
“Stop right there.” Ace held up a hand. His sorrow was instantly replaced by red-hot anger. “If you’re about to say their memories of Glen are untainted by the fact that he was gay, thenstop right there!” He realized he was shouting again. “There is nothing shameful ortaintedabout who or what Glen was. And his family might be able to keep their memories of him, but they arewrongmemories. Wouldn’t it have been better if they had really known him? For fuck’s sake!”
Rusty shook his head, his expression something Ace could only describe as obdurate.
Desire and rage and blistering remorse mixed together and became a dangerous cocktail. Ace swallowed it whole. Let it fill him up. At least that’s what he convinced himself of and the thing he blamed for what happenednext.
Fisting a hand in Rusty’s hair, he yanked the former marine’s head down for a kiss.
The instant their lips touched, Ace was deconstructed, reduced to his most basic elements. Because Rusty’s mouth was warm and soft, and his big hands grabbed Ace’s shoulders. To pull him closer? To push him away? Ace wasn’t sure. He simply redoubled his efforts until the sound of the door flying openon squeaky hinges had him ripping his mouth away.
“I know we’re not much for privacy,” he snarled, “but ever think of knocking?”
“Uh…sorry,” Emily said from the doorway. Behind her stood Christian and Angel. Christian looked shocked. Angel looked impassive, as always.
“I heard shouting and thought… Never mind.” Emily shook her head. “I’ll just close the door and let you two get backto…uh…doing what you were doing.”
“Don’t bother,” Ace told her, desperately trying to catch his breath. “I’m done. I’ve accomplished what I set out to accomplish.”
“And what was that?” Rusty’s voice was hoarse. Guttural. And maybe just a little bit shaky.
Good to know Ace wasn’t the only one suffering the aftershocks of that explosive kiss.
“To show you what you’re missing. Andhoping that the loss of something like this”—he motioned back and forth between them—“might give you an idea of how much it’s worth.”
* * *
Christian hopped out of the way when Ace slammed through the door.
“Close your mouth, Christian,” Ace snarled as he stalked by. “Or else you’ll catch flies.”
