Chapter 14
“I donothave a holier-than-thou attitude about my sexualityormy life!” Ace roared.
That Rusty Parker had the unmitigated gall to accuse him of being judgmental not once, buttwice, was bad enough. That the man had actually sought him out, herded him into one of the bedrooms, then slammed the door and proceeded to rip him a new asshole, advancing on him the entire timeuntil now they were nose to nose, was even worse.
Especially since Rusty was so very large. So very impressive. So very…sweetsmelling. No cologne or aftershave, just healthy male mixed with the great outdoors. It was almost enough to make Ace lose track of his end of the conversation.
“Yes, youdo!” Rusty growled. “You think ’causeyougot no problem with everyone in the world knowingwhat happens in your bedroom, that everyone else ought to be the same! And if they aren’t the same, then they should feel ashamed!”
“It’s not like I’m videotaping my sexcapades and posting them on the Internet! I simply don’t hide the fact that I’m attracted to men. I work in the shadows, but Ilivein the light. That doesn’t make me holier-than-thou; that makes me honest!”
“So now you’recalling medishonest?”
“Oh, for…” Ace spun away, pressing the heel of his hand to his head. His heart pounded with anger and excitement, and he decided it was best if he focused on the first and ignored the second. “I’m not calling you anything. You can live your life however you see fit.”
“Thank you. I will.” Rusty was breathing hard. He looked absolutely glorious. All hulking shouldersand heaving chest.
Damn him!Ace had to look away. “But I have to tell you,” he continued, his teeth clenched so hard his molars made a sound similar to a rusty blade caught in a garbage disposal, “it’s a hard row to hoe. Not only for you, but for whomever you might one day fall in love with. Believe me. I’ve been there.”
And he wasn’t going back. Not ever. He made sure that fact was plasteredacross his face when he met Rusty’s hostile gaze.
Rusty swallowed and stood straighter. For a moment, only silence passed between them. And that hostility? Ace watched it slowly disappear. Eventually Rusty asked, his voice low and soft, “Who was he?”
Grief sliced into Ace as hard and as sharp as a knife’s edge.
Who was he?
Only the most beautiful man Ace had ever seen. Only thebravest man he had ever met. Only the man who had given his all to his country and who had tried, truly tried, to give his all to Ace.
Only the love of Ace’s life.
“Glen Brogan.” He said the name like a prayer. “A pilot. A major in the air force.”
“What happened between you two?” There was curiosity in Rusty’s hazel eyes.
“He died.” The two words stuck in Ace’s throat like theywere covered in superglue. “And I couldn’t be there.”
“I’m sorry.” The apology sounded so sincere it made Ace want to forget what a douchewad Rusty had been not two minutes ago.
Ugh. He really was a sad sack. A sucker for a macho, macho man.
“Was it Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell? Is that why you couldn’t be there?” Rusty asked, referring to the now-defunct U.S. policy on gays, lesbians, andbisexuals serving in the military. Under DA/DT, they had not been allowed to reveal their sexual status—and weren’t allowed to be asked about it either. Basically, the policy had turned any sort of sexuality besides heterosexuality into a dirty little secret.
“That was part of it,” Ace admitted. “Another part of it was his family. They didn’t know, and he couldn’t bring himself to tell them.”
And oh, how they had argued! Ace hadn’t spent most of his teen years standing up to his narrow-minded father, preachers who promised damnation, and headshrinkers who tried conversion therapy only to become a closeted adult. He had fought too hard to be who he was. To beacceptedfor who he was. To accepthimselffor who he was.
But he had loved Glen with all his heart. And when he hadn’tbeen allowed into that hospital room in those last hours…
He swallowed, opened the lid on his mental lockbox, and shoved the heartrending memory back inside.
“How did he die?” Rusty’s deep voice was quiet. “I mean, I don’t want to pry or anything, but—”
“Of course you do,” Ace countered. “But that’s okay. I don’t mind telling you.” Well, actually he did. Ithurtto talk about Glen.But if it could help Rusty reassess his situation, then maybe it would be worth it.
Taking a deep breath, he said, “He was shot down over Afghanistan in 2011. He managed to survive the crash. Managed to survive ten days of Taliban torture before a SEAL Team was sent in to get him. But he didn’t survive his rescue. At least, he didn’t survive for longafterhis rescue.”
Ace closed his eyes,the memory of the phone call he’d received still as clear in his mind as if it’d happened yesterday. Gina, Glen’s sister, had phoned to tell him Glen had been rescued. Ace had muffled his tears of joy at the news. But those tears of joy had soon turned to tears of anguish when Gina had gone on to say that Glen had been taken to Ramstein Air Base in Germany, and that he wasn’t expected to live.Gina had said she thought Ace would want to know since he and Glen were “best friends.”
