Her question stunned him. He half rose to his feet before settling back in his leather chair. “I don’t want you to move out. I enjoy having you here.”
She took another step closer to the desk. “Finally we’re getting somewhere. Okay, so you’re not mad and you want us here. Are you happy?”
He wasn’t even sure what she meant, let alone figuring out the emotion itself.
“I can see from your face that you’re not,” she said with a sigh, and settled into the chair opposite his desk. “Okay. Not mad, not happy, yet you still want me here. Care to explain all this?”
She was trying. He could tell that he’d confused her and he needed to make things more clear. The problem was he didn’t know how.
“It’s about the dream,” he told her, staring at the desk, not wanting to see her expression. “I don’t like that I have it. I don’t like what it says.”
“You mean you’re uncomfortable about your past?”
“No.” He sucked in a breath. “You saw my weak spot.”
When she didn’t say anything, he looked at her. She stared at him blankly. He nearly groaned. How much more was he supposed to explain? Why didn’t she get it? Weakness was danger. Weakness was to be despised. He wanted to be with her and he was terrified of her getting too close. He was a soldier and he needed a soldier’s detachment. When he was around her, he couldn’t stay detached. Not anymore.
For the first time in his life he was afraid. Of what was inside of him. Of losing someone important.
She leaned toward him and rested her arms on his desk. “Was the weakness that you shared it with me or was it what you talked about?”
“What we discussed.”
She stared at him. “Okay. We talked about the dream and your inability to rescue Maggie. Is it that you failed?”
He shifted in his seat. Was she torturing him on purpose? “Yes.”
“Are you afraid I’ll use your perceived weakness against you or think less of you?”
He sprang to his feet. “Dammit, what else would it be?” he demanded.
She rose and glared at him. “Don’t you yell at me. I’m not the idiot in this room. You are.” She circled around the desk and pushed in front of him.
“I’m not the enemy,” she said as she poked a finger into his chest. “Stop treating me like I am. Stop hiding out because you act like a human being. It’s more than allowed. It’s the sort of behavior I would encourage.”
She placed her hands on his arms and tried to shake him. “Don’t you get it? I care about you.” She paused as if she wanted to say more, then continued. “I won’t hurt you. I won’t think less of you. In fact, I admire you very much. Maybe in soldier-speak you’ve violated some manly code. Maybe in that world, showing your softer side is dangerous. But when it comes to a personal relationship between a man and a woman, being vulnerable is generally a good thing. I want you to trust me the way I trust you.”
“You trust me?”
She threw up her hands. “Is thatallyou got out of what I said?”
“No.”
He’d heard every word; he just wasn’t sure he believed it.
“Jeff, here’s the news flash, so pay attention. I care about youmorebecause of your confession. Knowing about your pain and the darkness in your soul makes me feel closer to you. It doesn’t make me want to run away. So if that was your goal, you failed.”
His throat was dry and it was difficult to speak. “What about the weekend? Did that change anything?”
“Zane got on my nerves a little, but aside from that, no, nothing is different.” She paused and looked up at him. “I take that back. I think I have a clearer understanding of what it is that you do. I respect your abilities more. But that’s it.”
He felt as if someone had lifted the weight of the world off his shoulders. She wasn’t mad, she wasn’t running away.
“I’m glad,” he said simply.
She smiled. “Prove it.”
At first he wasn’t sure what she meant. Then he saw the passion flaring in her eyes. She wanted him. She wanted to make love and have him touch her everywhere.
