“Hey, Mom.”
She came into the room carrying a tray filled with breakfast goodies—berries, almond croissants from my favorite vegan bakery, and what I knew without asking was a strawberry banana smoothie with protein and hidden vitamins, just like she used to make me as a kid. She set the tray on the bed and immediately burst into “Chapel of Love,” making her way around the room toward the balcony.
She flung the curtains open before I could even yelp at her not to, but luckily both Chris and the ladder were long gone.
“I can’t believe my baby girl is getting married today.” She turned to me, beaming. “I am so excited.”
Somehow, hearing it from my mom made it feel really real. My stomach filled with champagne bubbles. By tonight, I would actually be Chris’s wife.
“Me too, Mom.”
She wrapped me in her arms for a hug, then we sat on the bed together. I tried not to think about what had been happening on this mattress ten minutes ago and helped myself to a strawberry and a croissant.
“You and Chris,” she said, shaking her head with a smile. “I just can’t believe it. April and I used to talk about it when you two were kids. He hung on your every word. We used to joke about what great in-laws we’d make.”
I smiled sadly. “I wish she could be here today.”
“Me too.” Mom nodded. “I still miss her every day. But I know how proud she would be of you kids. Just like I am.” She squeezed my hand. “Especially you, sweetie.”
“Proud of me for getting married?” I asked, confused. My mom wasn’t the type to define a woman by her partner, or to think a woman needed to be married at all.
“No, I’m proud of you for the wonderful woman you’ve turned out to be, Beatrix. I know it wasn’t always easy growing up with me for a mother. I’m not embarrassed of either of my careers, but I’d hoped they wouldn’t affect you. I know how it made things harder, especially with jerks like that slimy Karter and his mess last year.” She cupped my face in her hands. “But you’ve grown into a beautiful, confident woman who isn’t afraid to claim what she deserves and stand up for what she believes in. I could not be prouder to call you my daughter.”
“Oh, Mom.” I leaned into her arms again, my eyes filling with tears for what I was sure would be the first of a hundred times today. “I’ve always been really proud to call you my mom, too.”
When she pulled back, I could see her eyes were also threatening to spill over. She blinked rapidly and straightened up.
“Eat up. The girls will be here soon, and the hairdresser and makeup people. Remember not to wash your hair—dirty hair holds an updo better.”
“I remember, Mom,” I said, rolling my eyes as I stuffed half of a croissant in my mouth.
“I’m sure you could use a shower, though. After whatever you and Chris got up to this morning.”
I almost choked to death on vegan pastry.
“I haff no idee whuh you meen,” I said with my mouth full.
“Beatrix, swallow please. I taught you better than that.” She raised an eyebrow. “It reeks of sex in here. I would know. Plus, Christopher wasn’t exactly subtle when he walked by the kitchen window with a twenty-foot ladder this morning.”
COMMAND LOG 2: FORMAL ATTIRE
LUKE
Red Rooster 5: Leader of Pet Squadron
The Millennihen Falcon
Apparently, the Unfeathered Wonder is preparing to perform some kind of mating ritual in front of his kinfolk to permanently bond himself with My Trixie. If she was not so kind and wonderful in every other way, I would berate her for her choice of mates. Sure, he does keep her supplied with tidbits of her favorite Vee Gan food, but his disgusting lack of plumage should be a warning sign of how hideous their off spring could be. Not like the fine feathered specimens I bestowed upon them with the help of my lady Kylo Hen. A King of Man indeed.
There are strange humans staying here as well. My Trixie brought them to me for my approval and called them my grandparents. This is a vicious lie. My grandmother was purebred Leghorn with beautiful plumage. My grandfather was, of course, a bald eagle.
WEATHER OR NOT
CHRIS
“It looks like it’s going to rain. Those clouds look pretty dark. Do you think it’s going to rain? The Farmer’s Almanac said the wind would be east-northeasterly at fifteen miles per hour today, but this feels definitely stronger than that. This is Colorado, the weather literally throws all four seasons at us in one day.”
I was peering through a crack in the side of the groom’s tent, spiraling, and my poor wedding planner was bearing the brunt of it. My brothers were supposed to be here to distract me, but not a single one of those jerks had shown up yet.
