I immediately think of Quint, and my heart leaps for the briefest moment.
But of course it can’t be Quint. He’s dead.
I press the heel of my hand into my eyes and rise to answer the door, because I don’t want to call for entry and risk waking Tessa in the next room. I know one of my brother’s guards—well, one ofmyguards—is on the other side, and I really can’t imagine who they’d allow to knock at this hour.
When I draw the door open, I’m both surprised and not at all to find Lochlan.
There are a thousand things I could say to send him away.It’s late. You should be sleeping. You don’t need to be here. What are you doing?
But his eyes are dark and intent on mine, and somehow I know he can feel the weight that’s threatening to crush the air out of my lungs. Every single word stops in my throat.
Saeth is the guard standing along the wall behind him. My brother said quite a bit about Saeth and Thorin and their loyalty in his letter. I’m not sure how to address any of it yet. The guard’s voice is low and somber when he says, “Master Cresswell said you would be expecting him, Your Majesty.”
My body nearly flinches at the title. Every time I hear it, I expect to see Harristan—and I have to remind myself that I never will again.
I swallow and glance at Lochlan. Now my voice doesn’t want to work.
His eyes hold mine for a moment, and then he says, “Yeah. He is.” He puts a hand on my shoulder and gives me a not-quite-gentle shove toward the chairs in front of the hearth, then pushes past me. “I know what you need. Come on. Sit.”
In the hallway, Saeth raises his eyebrows at me, just a bit, in question. The way they’d look to my brother.
That thought is almost enough to bring tears to my eyes again, but I don’t want to cry in front of Harristan’s guards, and I definitely don’t want to do it in front of Lochlan.
“He’s fine,” I say, and my voice is a rasp. Saeth nods, and I let the door fall closed.
Then I just stare at it. It’s late and I’m tired and my brother is dead.
Behind me, something thumps against the table. I turn to find Lochlan setting two glasses on the sideboard. He uncorks a bottle of amber liquid.
“I’m surprised you’re still here,” I say, and I mean it. The day has been full of tense discussions and interrogations and so many demands and gatherings that my head wants to spin. It was clear that Lochlan was overwhelmed in the first hour, and I told aservant to find him quarters and a hot meal at the first opportunity. I later sent word that he was under no obligation to stay.
“Karri didn’t want to leave Tessa yet.” He glances at the closed door to the bedroom. “Is she sleeping?”
“Yes.”
“Karri, too. But I knew you’d be awake.”
“Still breathing,” I say roughly.
“Still drinking, too.” He pours an inch into each glass. “This time, you can have all you want.”
I don’t move away from the door. “I really can’t.”
He lifts one of the glasses. “Come on, Cory.”
Cory.The name slams into me so hard that I feel the impact. It’s a fist to the gut, an arrow to the chest. I can’t breathe. My heart feels like it must have stopped. My knees seem to be buckling.
Lochlan moves forward to catch me, and before I can stop myself, my breath is hitching against his shoulder.
“I know,” he says, and his voice is so very quiet.
“I should have been here,” I say, the words a desperate gasp.
“I know.”
“I could have helped him.”
“I know.”
