I brush my fingers through his hair, stroking his back, letting him breathe.
“I should never have gone,” he whispers.
“You don’t know what happened.”
“I know I wasn’there.”
“If you hadn’t gone, you never would have learned the truth about the poison. Kandala would have been no better off.”
That seems to settle him, but just a little bit.
Then his head lifts, and he finally looks at me. His eyes glitter with unshed tears, and he says, “I loved him so very much, Tessa.”
The emotion in his voice breaks my heart. I shed the tears he can’t, and I nod. “I know,” I say. “I know you did. And he knew, too. I swear to you, he knew.”
“What am I going to do?”
I look into his desperate face, and I put a hand against the warmth of his cheek. The cheek he shaved this morning because he didn’t want to disappoint his brother. I brush a thumb along the smoothness of his jaw to remind him of it. “You’re going to be a great king.”
CHAPTER FORTY
Corrick
My dear brother. I keep thinking of the last words you said to me when you left Kandala.
“Be here when I get back.”
Cory, please forgive me. I’m so sorry I won’t be.
Harristan’s letter is thirty-five pages long, but it takes me forever to read beyond the first few lines. I’ve been trying not to cry, but by the third page, he’s said so many things that I’m glad Tessa is already asleep in bed, and I’m alone. By the time I get to the end, I read the entire thing again.
Quint wrote me a letter, too, but his is short.
My dearest friend, you will make a fine king. I hope you understand why I couldn’t leave him alone during his finest hour.
I read it a dozen times, wishing for more.
My brother is dead. My best friend is dead.
I haven’t quite convinced myself that any of this is real, that Harristan orchestrated it to protect me and the people, that the villains died in the same terrible explosion that took out most of the palace. I have no one to punish, no vengeance to chase, no way to ease this pain.
I simply have a kingdom that’s practically in shambles.
Harristan’s letter has numerous passages that make me long for all the things we never got to say in person, but most of what he wrote is practical: outlining everything that happened, everything I need to do, and everything he hopes for—both for me and for Kandala. Despite his efforts, it’s going to takemonthsto straighten out the mess left behind. I’ve only spent a day trying to unwind who I can trust and who might still be secretly working against me, and I’m already exhausted. But now it’s after midnight, and the manor is finally quiet. Tessa fell asleep two hours ago, but I feel like I’ll never sleep again, so I’m staring into the hearth in the sitting room, alone.
I’d give anything for Quint right now. I’d give anything for . . . ?anyone.
I have a handful of consuls left, so those will need to be replaced. I don’t even know if I can trust any of them—including Jonas. He’s offered me anything I could need, but I haven’t been gone from Kandala forsolong. I know gifts and promises usually come with conditions and favors that are expected later.
I can’t rule from here either. Not for long. I’ve heard that most of the palace was destroyed, so that will need to be rebuilt, which will take funding. Consul Beeching’s men reported that looters were discovered trying to pick through the rubble, so his guards have been posted along the site to prevent thieving. Aside fromThorin, Saeth, and Rocco, I don’t know who among the palace guards can be trusted, so those will need to be reevaluated and rehired. I’ve heard statements from both Thorin and Saeth, and it’s given me the barest glimpse of everything my brother went through in my absence. I was barely able to hold it together when they told me about his nights as the Fox, and how he was injured by the night patrol.
That wasn’t in his letter, but he had to have started that before I’d left. I wish I’d known.
Then again, perhaps I deserve it, for all the years he never knew of my nights as the outlaw Weston Lark.
Emotion swells in my chest again.
A hand knocks softly on my door, and I pull out my pocket watch. It’s well after midnight.
