Good morning, Sebastiaan,
As I am sure you are aware, we have been trying for some time now to arrange a sexual encounter. Alas, the Universe (or more likely, the Powers That Be in the Bellford University Athletic and Academic departments) has conspired to keep your dick out of my ass. That is, of course, a terrible tragedy.
Due to this, I have found it advantageous to resort to the indelicate methods of the Online Calendar. Please find attached to this email three possible time slots in the next two weeks in which my body is available to be fully ravaged.
Do let me know what time will be most convenient for you.
Sincerely and hornily,
Adonis Costa
Bash’s response came in a few moments later, when the other students in Adonis’s seminar class were having a spirited debate about the ethics of socialism. Usually, he would have plenty to say on this topic, but he had more pressing matters (figuring out when he and Bash could have sex).
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: when are we fucking?
Good morning to you, too, Adonis,
I opened this in my Corporate Ethics Class. Now I have a boner. Thank you for that. I selected the date that works for me.
Sincerely,
Bash
P.S. Doesn’t Bellford monitor our emails?
Adonis hid a grin, imagining Bash shifting in his seat to hide a boner. He thought for a moment, composing his thoughts, and then started typing.
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: re: when are we fucking?
My dear Basher,
A boner in class? Sounds like my eighth-grade nightmare. Tragically, I see that you have selected a date eight days from now. How in the world do you expect me (and, more specifically, my hole) to wait this long?
Sincerely and desperately,
Adonis (just a hole)
P.S. I think Bellford has better uses for its billion-dollar endowment than checking our emails.
He tried to focus on the class conversation (one of his classmates, wearing a blue cardigan, was saying something objectively wrong about Marxism, and Adonis wanted to jump in and correct him), but another email popped up.
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: re: re: when are we fucking?
Hi hole,
It breaks my heart to hear that you are worried you can’t wait eight days for me. Thankfully, I have faith that you are strong and you will survive the wait. The wait will be worth it to meet me finally.
