I’d been overjoyed a few weeks ago when the doctor had proudly announced that I carried twins. Gus filling me with his precious seed was not something I wanted to recall while my doctor looked me over, but how could I not think of Gus when he owned my heart and parts of him literally grew in my belly. Our connection had been so powerful, it had resulted in not just one child but two.
I continued reading.
January 30th
Lany is… fun. He’s handsome and shy. Not at all like the alpha I’d feared would breed me. Father even left us alone to get to know each other, which was unexpected and freeing. I’m sitting here with a dopey smile on my face, all because of Lany and how he makes me feel. Now I can’t wait for my heat to come. I feel almost giddy.
March 25th
I am with child, and Lany is nowhere to be found. I’m dying to tell him. To let him know I’ll cherish this child, his son, forever. But Father… I fear Father has taken him away from me already. It’s too soon. I need more time with him, although I fear all the time in the world would never be enough.
I wiped the tears away from my face as I realized I only had one passage left, and that the rest of the pages were left blank. I swallowed my unease as I read the last part.
September 1st
My heir is now eighteen, and I trust Sebastian enough to carry on with my magic. Not Father’s, but mine. Last year, when Father passed away, I was terrified to use my magic on our world. It had never been possible for me to get it right—at least, that was what Father never failed to remind me. Last year, I faked it. I pretended to use my magic to do whatever it was Father had done for so many years, praying to the gods that no one would notice and that it would somehow uphold the order in our world.
I know the truth, though. I never inherited my father’s magic. It’s notreal.
Alphas aren’t dangerous. And I intend to prove it. I want to free all alphas from fearing themselves and the lie that they are harmful to us omegas. I want omegas to trust them again. I want our world to be a better place. I just need my Lany here with me when I do. Once Lany is back home with me, I’ll introduce Sebastian to his alpha father. I’ll make us a family. The family we should’ve always been. Then I’ll refuse to do the yearly ceremony, proving to everyone that alphas aren’t dangerous. That it was just my father and his anger that held them down, forcing them to be docile when they weren’t a danger to anyone.
I leave tonight. I only know a little of where Lany lives, and it has been nineteen years since I last saw him, but my heart left with him. I need my heart back. All those heats spent alone because I couldn’t stomach another alpha’s touch. It will all soon be over, and my love and I will be reunited.
Sebastian will be told that I have royal matters to tend to overseas. I won’t tell him the truth until Lany is beside me. Then we’ll tell him together, and we’ll be a family.
I closed the journal with a slap, my heart pounding, my hands sweaty with nerves and excitement, but also sadness. So much devastating sadness. My father had fallen for his alpha, too, but their story had ended in tragedy. Did my father ever find Lany? Had my father made it, and they’d passed away together, or had he perished at sea like I’d been told?
Unlike my father, I still had a chance to make things right, but could I truly trust his words? I wasn’t alive back when my grandfather’s magic was forced upon the alphas for the firsttime. I didn’t know what life was like before. I only knew what my grandfather had told me.
Closing my eyes, I recalled the sunny day on the balcony when my father first showed me how the magic worked. Our people were there, cheering in the distance, as Father whispered to me what he was doing. He told me to reach inside myself, to let the well of love I had for everyone, for our people, spill over. And to let that love guide my magic. ‘Inhale, then exhale,’ he’d said, and that was how it was done. I’d always imagined the ceremony to be more complicated and spectacular, but there was no obvious sign of the ritual being done or when it was completed.
I remember asking my father why the magic wasn’t visible and how I would know whether I’d done it right. He’d just smiled at me and told me that if he could do it, then so could I. He hadn’t performed the actual ritual that day, only showed me how it was done, and allowed our people to watch me learn. But now I wondered if he already knew then that the magic wasn’t real and if the ‘rehearsal’ was just his way of ensuring I trusted myself enough before he left. He didn’t want me to doubt myself like Grandfather had made him do. Father had given me this final gift because he likely knew it would take him some time to find Lany. If only I’d known how important that lesson would become.
Rubbing my temples, the knowledge and heartache all mixed together in a blur. I needed to get my thoughts together. I needed someone who wouldn’t lie to me. I needed Elias.
Elias and Briar gaped at me wide-eyed as I read aloud from my father’s journal.
“And that was the last passage,” I declared, closing the journal. I was a teary mess, and so were they as we took in this new information.
“I knew it,” Elias whispered. “Garreth is the kindest person ever. I even trust him with Everian.”
Nodding, I carefully sat down on my bed with them, my stomach now so big I couldn’t move around as easily.
“I feel the same way about Gus,” I admitted. “But how can we make others believe it too?”
“Do you think our fathers know?” Briar asked Elias carefully.
“I doubt it. Why would they keep it a secret? It’s not like life is perfect without alphas around. I think everyone would love it if we could all live in harmony,” Elias replied.
“Power,” I whispered, realizing my advisors might very well know the truth already. “They fear they’ll lose their standing if the truth comes out.”
“But why would they? They’d still be your advisors, no?” Briar questioned.
I shook my head. “If alphas are once again accepted as equals, it would mean an alpha could also become a royal advisor. It would also mean the powerful position wouldn’t automaticallybe passed on to the next generation of omegas. You two will eventually take over as my advisors because you were born to fill that role. Your fathers know if things change, they could be fired to let others take over their positions.”
“Someone who is actually qualified and worthy of them,” Elias mused, clearly thinking the same as me.
“You truly think they’d be cruel enough to hide this from everyone?” Briar asked.
