Nyce
Tuesday | 11:25am
I woke upbefore the sun came up with my mind in a million fucking places. Princess was curled against my chest, her hair sprawled across my shoulder, her breathing slow and even, like she was at peace. I stared at the ceiling, jaw tight, replaying everything from the night before like I could undo it if I watched it enough times.
After I left the warehouse, Belvin dropped me at the mansion instead of the cabin. The new bulletproof windows had just been installed. It didn’t feel like much of a win considering why they had to be replaced in the first place. A reminder that niggas really tried to end me. That this city councilman had the audacity to put a tag on my name.
The crib looked different, too. I had a team of cleaners come in and scrub every corner. I even hired a new interior designer, too, telling her I didn’t want that cold, dark shit anymore. I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted, but I knew I wanted a change. I let her throw some light into the place with whites, beiges, and all that soft lighting shit.
As soon as I got in, I hit the shower, letting that hot water run down my back like it could wash away the tension. It didn’t. Then, Chef had a plate waiting for me when I got out, and I indulged like I hadn’t eaten in days. Next came the liquor I chased it down with. I poured one drink. Then another. Then a few more while smoking back-to-back blunts, trying to drown her out of my system. Princess kept creeping back in. Every time I blinked, I saw her face. Her tears. Her mouth. The way she looked at me like I wasn’t a whole fucking monster.
And even though I knew she was good in that suite I paid for, I still couldn’t sit still. I needed a distraction, something to fill the empty space Princess left. So, I pulled my phone out and hovered over a number I hadn’t dialed in months. Shawnda. She was the type to come through, no questions asked. Pretty. Easy. The kind of bitch who didn’t want anything but a good time.
She picked up on the first ring, voice laced in suggestion like she already knew what I wanted. But before I could even tell her to come through, I ended the call. I stared at the screen, realizing no matter how loud the emptiness got, I couldn’t fill it with just anyone.
Shawnda called back but I didn’t want no basic ass, mediocre, filler pussy. I didn’t want lips that didn’t taste like honey or eyes that didn’t make me feel something. I didn’t want another woman scratching my back. I wanted Princess. Something in me needed her, and nothing else would do. So I grabbed my keys and drove myself to the hotel, no driver, no security. Just me, my Glock, my fucked-up thoughts, and a dangerous need I couldn’t shake.
I watched her stir awake, her brows pinching as she blinked herself awake. “Why do you look like that?” she asked, her voice thick with sleep.
“Like what?” I said.
“Like you’ve already left and your body just hasn’t caught up yet.”
Lifting her chin, I kissed the tip of her nose and said, “Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of this moment.”
Princess closed her eyes for a moment and then smiled softly, opening them. “Rumi.” I nodded, and she narrowed her eyes. “How are you so… tough but know of great literature and poetry?”
I exhaled, dragging a hand down my face. “So, just because I am who I am means I have to be ignorant?” She didn’t say anything, so I continued, “Get some more sleep. I got somewhere to be.”
She pushed herself up on her elbows. “No. Don’t do that.”
“Do what, Princess?”
“That.” Her eyes sharpened. “That cold thing. You don’t get to fuck me all nightagainand wake up acting like I’m a goddamn stranger.”
I stood up and pulled on my boxers. “Lower your voice.”
She laughed, sharp and humorless. “Oh, now you care about tone?”
I turned toward her, irritation flashing. “I care about you not losing your damn mind first thing in the morning.”
She climbed out of the bed, grabbing the sheet and wrapping it around herself. “Too late.” She paced the room, barefoot, running her hands through her hair. “You pull me in, and then you shut down like it never happened again. That shit is cruel, Nyce!”
“You think I don’t know that?” I snapped.
She stopped in front of me. “Then why do it?” I did not answer fast enough. She shoved my chest. Not hard, but enough to make a point. “Say something.”
I grabbed her wrists before she could hit me again, pulling her into me. “I told you about that hitting shit.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me in that way!”
I tightened my hold, pressing my forehead to hers. “Stop fucking yelling.” She went still, breathing hard, tears already sitting in her eyes. I let her wrists go, but didn’t step back. “Sit down,” I said.
She scoffed. “You’re gonna order me around now?”
“Yes,” I said calmly. “Before you say something you can’t take back. Sit the fuck down.” She hesitated, then dropped onto the edge of the bed, arms crossed tight. I sat across from her, elbows on my knees. “You figure it out yet?” I asked.
She looked up. “Figure what out?”
