My reply was shaky when it finally found its way out. “I missed you. These past weeks without you, I…I haven’t been handling it all very well. I just tried to keep myself from feeling things.”
“How?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Concerned disagreement flashed in his eyes, but I continued before he could speak. “I was starting to get addicted to numbing away the pain. It was easier than thinking about my feelings for you. Even now, there’s a part of me that thinks it would be easier to keep my distance. You know, in case…”
In case Eamon is right, and this is all a trick.
I couldn’t breathe, suddenly.
And I hoped with everything in me that Aleks couldn’t read my mind in that moment.
He took my hand in his, thoughtfully tracing the lines along my palm for a minute. “I would never force you to feel something you aren’t ready to feel.”
I shook my head. “That isn’t what I meant. I don’twanteasy. I want to feel. I want…”
His gaze shot up to mine, the intensity of his stare making my breath catch again.
I forced myself to exhale. “You,” I finished in a whisper. “Just you.”
He went back to studying the lines of my palm, the hint of a crooked smile curving his lips again. “Is that so?”
I heaved out a sigh.
His smile inched higher. “You seem conflicted.”
“In my defense, I’m never able to think particularly clearly whenever you’re naked in front of me.”
“I know what you mean.” His gaze flicked to the shirt draped loosely around me, and his hand followed, giving the fabric a little tug. “This thin bit of cloth might be my last tether to anything resembling control.”
Untether yourself,then.
I don’t know if he’d heard those words through our connected minds, or if he sensed the desperation behind the thought, but he pressed even closer to me—as if in response.
I tensed, eyes closing, as he gathered a fistful of the shirt. He used that grip to keep me steady while his other hand slid between my legs, coaxing them farther apart.
“Open your eyes,” he said, voice low and dripping with desire, “and watch what I’m doing. No slipping away.”
I did as he’d commanded, watching his fingers drag across my inner thighs. I shivered. He cocked his head, as if questioning whether or not I was in danger of slipping away.
A divine warmth rippled and curled through my belly. It still seemed timid, afraid of unfolding into something bigger and risking an equally bigger loss, but I didn’t want him to stop what he was doing.
Again, he moved as though I’d spoken my thoughts out loud. He didn’t stop. He confidently cupped a handful of water, drizzling it over my bare legs. I inhaled sharply at the splash of heat against my chilled skin. He did it again, sprinkling it higher up my legs this time. Then again, and again, dripping the warmth closer and closer to my center.
There was no numbness, now.
And that much was obvious, judging by the knowing smile that crossed his face. “You still seem to be feeling this, at least.”
My chest rose and fell with quick, shallow breaths.
I managed a nod.
He dipped his hand back into the water, swirling it around for a few beats. Without taking his eyes from mine, he applied the warm water directly with his fingertips, tapping dampness onto my thighs with a smooth, purposeful touch. “And this?”
“All of it.”
More thoughtful taps soon turned into unhurried strokes, smooth caresses that edged closer and closer to the most sensitive parts of me.
He knew precisely where to touch. Where to tease. Where to worship. Whatever time we’d lost, whatever hell his mind had endured these past weeks, he hadn’t forgotten the maps he’d made of my body.
