He gave a quiet laugh.
“What?”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
I bit my lip and lifted my gaze to the ceiling. I didn’t want to tell him about my conversation with Eamon, so instead I picked one of the dozens of other fears running endless circles in my mind.
“If I’m right about what I saw, it will mean returning to my old home, facing what’s become of Rose Point, reliving all that happened on the night of my eighteenth birthday…and I’m just wondering what I’m supposed to do, going back there with all I know now. With all the new magic I’m capable of. My mother and half of my old palace were still frozen under a spell when I left. I set out to save them months ago, and even with everything else I’m facing now, I need to somehow fix that, too. I wonder if there’s any hope of reviving them?”
I didn’t expect an answer; he surprised me by giving one.
“I think there is.” He stood up straighter, moving his hands to my hips. He was tall enough that we were eye-to-eye even though he stayed in the pool. My knees parted so he could move closer, and my thoughts strayed again to how little clothing separated us. I regretted the shirt I wore; I wanted to feel his warm skin against mine.
“We’ve worked our magic to revive beings here in Noctaris, haven’t we?” he pointed out. “We can do it again.”
“The spell over my old home isn’t like anything we’ve faced here. And our magic isn’t exactly predictable, either. It definitely won’t work the same in the Above as it does in this realm… Need I remind you about thelasttime we collided at Rose Point?”
“It will be different, this time.”
“Will it?”
“We’redifferent.”
For better or worse?I couldn’t help wondering.
“Trust me, Nova.”
There were those words again. He made it sound so simple. And I knew it was anything but simple—wewere anything but simple—but his attempt to reassure me still made my heart flutter.
He leaned even closer, sliding his hands around to the small of my back. His hold was gentle, yet strong. I draped my arms around his neck, drawing his face closer to mine. I couldn’t help it; I wanted to steady myself against him and no one else,cautionbe damned.
We stayed that way for I don’t know how long, lost in each other’s gaze, tied together by the same thoughts and fears.
At some point, his lips found mine again, pressing against me with the same gentle certainty as his embrace. His fingertips dug into the base of my spine, pulling me forward and deeper into the kiss. I braced one hand against the warm stone for balance and brought the other up to the back of his neck, gripping and crushing his lips more completely to mine.
This is real.
I’d believed it when he said it earlier.
Why couldn’t I hold on to that belief?
Mere inches existed between my body and his, but I still feared the emptiness between us. Within us. Part of me longedfor the alcohol I’d been using to fill the spaces, or maybe for the endless meetings and royal duties that I loathed, but which felt like smaller, easier battles to occupy myself with, at least.
I’d pulled away without realizing it, drifting off into my thoughts; Aleks was staring at me, his brow furrowed with concern.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“Because I keep slipping away like that. Going numb without meaning to. I just…” I trailed off with a shrug.
“Numb?”
“Trying to protect myself from something, maybe.”
He was quiet for a moment, and then, “…From me?”
There was no hint of accusation in his voice, yet the words still cut like blades through my chest.
