He stopped.Shook his head.“Command was still all about the mission.The military brass was all over them.I knew Peyton wasn’t going to make it.I believe he knew it too.I asked him about the chem weapons.He confirmed they were there, then said, ‘Tell my family I love them, and that I didn’t suffer.’I told him I would.”
Her chest hitched as she held back a sob.
Tripp scrubbed a hand over his face.“The enemy was almost inside the building when I informed command, and they ordered an immediate drone strike on the target.So yeah, it was my call, and I’m the reason your brother didn’t come back.”
Willow covered her mouth with her hand.It hurt.And it was both worse and better than she’d imagined.
To know that Peyton had been badly wounded, in terrible pain, and facing more of it before his inevitable death once the enemy overran them.The drone strike was horrific, but at least it would have ended his suffering instantly.
Peyton had died a hero.And Tripp had carried the burden of guilt over his death ever since.
“I’m sorry,” Tripp rasped out, his expression haunted as he looked over at her.“So fucking sorry, Willow.I know that doesn’t change anything.I know it doesn’t bring him back or take away your family’s pain.Every day, I wished it had been me instead.Every day...until you walked into the pub that night.That was the first time I’d really felt alive in two years.”His voice cracked, tearing her aching heart to pieces.
She got up and went to him.Crawled into his lap and wrapped her arms around him, aching to ease his pain.Sharing the terrible burden of the anguish and guilt he’d carried alone for all this time.
FIFTY-FIVE
T
ripp buried his wet face in the curve of Willow’s neck and clutched her to him like a drowning man as he struggled for control.Now she knew.Every awful fucking bit of it.
He’d been the one to push Peyton to apply to the company in the first place.And he was the reason Peyton had died.
And yet somehow Willow was here, holding him.Comforting him even after what he’d just told her.It was hard to believe this was real.
His wounded arm burned, but he didn’t ease the pressure of his hold on her.Couldn’t.He was too afraid she would disappear if he did.
“I’m sorry you went through all that,” she whispered.
For a moment he thought he’d heard her wrong.
“Dealing with all of that when you were wounded yourself—and engaged in a firefight.Then blaming yourself all this time.And I’m also sorry for running out on you after what Earl said.Believing the worst of you without giving you the benefit of the doubt and waiting to hear the full story.But I still wish you’d told me before,” she murmured.“I hate that you kept all this from me.”
He shook his head.If he’d told her earlier, she would have just hated him sooner.
Incredibly, she hugged him tighter.“You were in an impossible position.You knew he was going to die either way.By making the call you did, you helped save countless lives when that drone strike destroyed the chemical weapons.”
