That was when our divorce would go into effect. That was all I could hear. That, and her voice.
“I’m glad.” I was happier to hear from her and to know that she was off the hook than to get the green card, as fucked up as that sounded.
“You should be! I am.” Meanwhile, she sounded genuinely happy.
“Me, too. I’ll pick up the original when I arrive to get everything I left behind.”Including you.
I could hear her inhaling on the other end of the line. “I’ll let you know when’s a good time.”
“I still have your keys, you know. I forgot to give them back that day.”
“It’s okay.” The enthusiastic tint had left her voice.
“How have you been?”
A pause. “Fine.” A single word could sharpen an ache. She didn’t sound fine.
Another pause stretched before she added, “And you?”
“I’ll see you soon?” I replied with a question.
It took her a moment to reply. “Okay.” She was June and still trying to convince herself that I was off limits because she didn’t believe she could have a future with me.
She texted me a picture of the approval letter after we hung up.
Over the past month, I’d lived without June but with a constant need to go there, make her acknowledge her feelings, disregard her fears, and accept the fact that I wanted to be with her. But I knew it couldn’t be forced. It would have to come from her.
I can’t, she’d said in the parking garage.Not I don’t want to.
Maybe it would have been better for me if I’d accept that she just couldn’t. But first of all, I wouldn’t give up on her, even if I could. And second, I was used to working hard to get what I wanted. I had patience, and hope, and love. And I knew that I had stoked up June’s internal flames, and they had heated her steel armor from within and cracked it. I had seen and felt her fire bursting through those fault lines. They were laughter and tears, anger and passion, and vulnerability and everything else that she usually held inside.
It was only a matter of time, and I was willing to wait, because my love for her was an unchangeable fact.
33
June
“I think I found our next hire! I want you to see her, too, so we can finalize it.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Rio.”
It was a slower day at the shop, and since my new Wayford hire, Ben, was now able to manage the store there with Adam and Dharma, I could finally spend more time in the Riviera shop.
“It’s been quiet in the back. Angelo’s still in San Francisco?”
She knew he had gone to drop off the projects and bring back others. She had no idea he had come back, spent the night, and then left again.Made to leave, to my utter self-loathing.
“Yes, he’ll have to be there for a while. Work.”
“Work? It’s been two weeks since we’ve seen him.” Her tone conveyed a loud and clearbullshit.
I was glad Dharma wasn’t there to grill me, too.
“Yes, Rio, work. What we have now.” I turned with a smile to Amy Locke, the owner of the Mean Bean café who had just saved me by walking into the shop. “How are you, Amy? How was that thyme, ginger, rosemary, and oregano mix?” I called toward her.
“You’ll tell me if you need me, right, June?” Rio rushed the words. “Because I can tell that you’re not … zesty anymore.” She wore a soft, apologetic smile at that word again.
I rolled my eyes and scoffed. I didn’t feel zesty. “I will.” I smiled.
