I am insomuch trouble.
Chapter 35
Ellie
“Are you sure about the yellow?” I ask Rachel through the fitting room curtain at the X’s and Oh’s Bridal shop. It’s bridesmaid dress day, and while her other bridesmaids already have dresses since they went shopping on a day I was working, I still have to pick up mine. Honestly, I don’t mind it just being Rachel and me. As much as I love my sister, I’m not a huge fan of her friends.
“Yes,” she says. “Meringue yellow is my favorite color, you know that.”
“I do,” I tell her as I turn in front of the mirror. “But I also feel like it flushes me out.”
My sister rips the curtain open, and her face lights up. “What are you talking about? You look amazing! Although I am wondering if we should do the halter-top instead of the strapless.”
“Why?” I ask. “All the other girls are wearing strapless dresses, aren’t they?”
“Well, it’s just that your tits are kind of big, and I think the halter might hoist them better.”
I snort out a laugh at that. “The last thing my tits need is hoisting.”
“Try on the halter again, El, please? I want it to be perfect. I need all of this to be perfect.”
I sigh, but smile. She’s right. Considering how MIA I have been before this, I can’t complain. I owe it to her to wear anything she wants, even if it is a pale yellow that makes me look dead and a top that makes me look like I’m trying out for Baywatch.
“So how are things with your boss?” she asks, and I sigh again.
“Why do you want to talk about that? This is your day,” I tell her as I shimmy out of one dress and grab the other.
“Because your love life is more interesting than color swatches and cake samples,” she answers, inviting herself in to help me with the dress. “You know, I always thought little things like that would be so much fun. I couldn’t wait to plan a wedding. But now, I feel like there’s just so many little things and it’s all kind of overwhelming.”
“I can help you with all of it,” I tell her. “Now that I have a better schedule where Damien isn’t just springing things on me, my evenings and weekends are freed up for all the wedding things. You shouldn’t be stressed right now, Rache. You should be walking on clouds.”
“I am, it’s just..” she pauses and her voice cracks. I turn around to face her.
“What is it?” I ask. My throat tightens. Seeing my sister cry is enough to make me cry before I even know what’s wrong.
“It’s not just the wedding stuff. We started the IVF process,” she says.
“Oh?” I ask. Everything in me wants to be hopeful, but her tone and the tears have me holding my breath.
“It all looks like it might actually work. But–”
“But what?” I ask.
“It’s going to be more expensive than we thought. A lot more.”
“Oh,” I whisper, and I look down. Then I bite my lip. “I can help,” I finally say.
“What? Ellie, no. You’ve done so much already,” she argues.
“And I can do more. I have the money. This job pays very well. Luca and I have what we need. For the first time I can breathe, and then some. Let me help, please.”
Rachel studies me. She is hesitant, but also so hopeful. So desperate. Finally she breaks, a sob escaping her throat. “I want it so bad, Ellie. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I know,” I tell her, taking her in my arms. “And I want it for you. So let me help.”
We hug for a long moment before finally pulling apart. Then we both reach for tissues. It’s kind of funny. The tissues are meant for yes to the dress tears, yet somehow my sister and I have turned bridal fitting rooms into therapy offices. Considering how much time I feel like I’ve lost with her recently, I’ll take what I can get.
I turn my back to her again, and she helps tug, tie, and fluff the dress. Honestly, between the color and the cut, it’s got Kate Hudson vibes, and I don’t hate it as much as I thought I did. One more pool day tan and it might actually look pretty good.
