“Var, you’re not making any sense, and we…we have to keep moving.”
Because Gravelock and his army weren’t stopping.
No, and he was nearly here, the ice trembling, like some leviathan was breaching the depths beneath our feet.
“Just…first, let me say what I came to say.” Var closed his eyes. “I love you, Lyrae. I’ve loved you my entire life, and was too afraid to tell you, but if this is the end, if there’s nothing that comes after this, I needed you to know something. These past days were the best of my life. And I would do it all over again—for the chance to spend just a few more hours with you.”
For one second, I was folded perfectly into him; the next, our lips collided, mouths opening, tongues stroking against each other for too short a time before we broke apart. Like I had with Ryland, in a blink I catalogued every familiar, beloved detail, from his golden eyes to his tawny hair, to the dark stubble dusting his strong jaw.
A face I could draw with my eyes closed, and now I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see him again.
“They’ll be on us in moments,” Ryland hissed. “Var, we don’t have time for this, you know we don’t. Youhaveto go back.What if Ariel wakes up?”
The snowstorm raged, so blinding in its fury it was hard to tell if it was night, or if the day had begun. Ice groaned beneath our feet, a creaking, mournful sound that vibrated through my bones. “Lyrae.” Varian’s eyes shone when he cupped my face between his palms. “Let me go instead. Please.”
“You know I’m the only one who can do this.” I tipped my forehead against his, the same goodbye we’d been giving each other our whole lives. “Go help Rooke by watching Ariel. We’ll keep this bastard busy until the ritual’s finished. In an hour, this will all be over.”
“It should be me out here, not you.” He murmured against my lips, tears gleaming at the end of his lashes. “You’ve already given up too much, and this isn’t even your fight. This was never your fight.”
“Thisismy fight, Var. We’re all on the right side this time. We’re all fighting for the right things. And…” I dragged him closer, pressed my lips to his ear and whispered the next part of my plan, told him what he had to do.
His eyes shine, something like wonder lighting them up from the inside. “Truly?” I asked.
“We need you, Varian. You just have to be ready. Can you do that for us?”
“Yes,I won’t let you down, Ly.” he said with no hesitation, fresh resolve in his eyes. “I’ll get back to Ari. If I don’t…” his throat bobbed. “Be careful, don’t take any chances.” His gaze narrowed on Ryland. “You’d better keep her fucking safe and not let anything happen to her.”
I tried to smile when he stepped away, the wind ripping at his thin shirt, “For what it’s worth, I always loved you, too Var. You weren’t the only one who was afraid.”
“For fuck’s sake. That army will slaughter us all while you two make moon eyes at each other. Now get your ass back to the castle and watch over Ariel.” Ryland caught Varian by the arm before he disappeared. “If this goes wrong, you come and get Lyrae off this ice. Leave me here, I’ll buy you two some time, but save her. Do you hear me?”
“EvenIfucking heard you,” I grumbled, glowering at the two of them, acting like a couple overprotective mother hens.
“Good, you weresupposed to,” Ryland growled right back.
“I’ve fought battles before, you know.Biggerones than this.” I groused, shoving my grief down into a hard, frozen ball in my stomach. “You two act like I should be locked away in a tower.”
“You two are impossible.” Varian rolled his eyes. “Try not to kill each other before the real army gets here.”
He disappeared, just before another loud shout went up amongst the approaching soldiers. The snowstorm and the army’s slow, careful crossing had bought us extra time; now we had to buy Rooke another hour by keeping Gravelock busy.
Keeping an entire army at bay.
Maybe we’d talk them to death, who the fuck knew.
The wind tore at my cloak, icy needles stabbed my face, snow blurring the jagged shadows of Gravelock’s advancing force.
“I really fucking hate this weather,” I muttered, tightening the grip on my sword, the hilt feeling impossibly small in my hand, like a child’s toy against the weight of what was coming.
49
ROOKE
With the magic joined, I set the Crown on my head and without pausing, drove the Thorn down, straight into the center of the Mirror’s rippling glass.
Right through those judgmental eyes, those faces that were so like my own.
The Thorn pierced the Mirror with a sound like a bell rung underwater—deep and resonant and impossibly loud.
