[A tortured sounding ‘God, Ivy’ under his breath.]
February 2
It’s been exactly twenty-nine days since I last held you.
That’s 696 hours. 41,760 minutes. 2,505,600 seconds.
Yeah, I counted with help from Siri. Damn, that made me sound unhinged. But time drags when I’m not with you. I’m hoping that somewhere, maybe, you feel it too.
[Whispers] Please tell me you do.
February 5
So, Aaron and Brian. They’re like oil and water. Aaron is all jokes and optimism, Brian is subdued and quiet, like he carries the whole world on his back. You’d think they’d hate each other, but weirdly, they balance each other out. Aaron teases until Brian lets out a huff, and Brian listens even when Aaron starts one of his monologues.
[Genuine laughter]
They’ve both been through hell, and yet they’re the two most selfless guys I’ve ever met. They’ll give you the shirt off their back, even when they don’t have much left to give.
Makes me think about the kind of man I want to be in the future.
February 9
I heard about the Finnish race from Jasper. He checks the scores for me after every single ICWC event. I’m sorry it didn’t go the way you wanted. But I know you, Ivy. You’ll come back even stronger next time. You always do. That’s what I admire about you; the fire in you.
[Voice lifts, more warmth in it] I believe in you. Always.
February 12
So, physio kicked my ass today.
I somehow managed to trip overnothing—literally air—and went down hard. The whole room gasped, like I’d broken every bone I had left, but I laid there laughing my ass off. Even the physiotherapist came running, and when they realized I wasn’t hurt, they started laughing too.
Aaron said my fall could be heard from two floors down. I can’t confirm or deny his claim.
[Snorts a laugh] At least I’m providing free entertainment around here.
February 14
Happy Valentine’s Day, my light. I never cared about today until now. Guess that’s what love does to a guy.
February 19
When we slept together and I held you, I realized it’s your hair that smells like coconuts. So I asked Em to buy differentproducts with a similar scent. Ifinallyfound one that matches yours perfectly. It’s one of those leave-in sprays.
Now I smell of coconuts, too. Not sure if I’m going mad or if that’s acceptable…who knows. I probably sound like a lovesick idiot.
[Unclear muttering before the voice note ends]
February 26
I can’t tell you how many times I have listened to the songs on the playlist you created. Because it feels like you’re here in the room with me when I do. Especially when the first notes of “The Middle” start.
March 3
It’s snowing today. It made me think about the first snow we shared. The way you described it to me and how it felt against my skin.
I remember how your voice softened when you said it was beautiful. And I think…I think that was when I started falling for you.
