When she realized that she was alone, her heart sank.
Her first instinct was to stay in bed and wait for him to come to her. She wondered though, how long she had been out. Had it been hours? Days? What if he had been here and only just left? He would want to know that she was better. He would want to see her.
Even if he does not, I want to see him…
Slowly and carefully, she peeled herself from the comfort of her bed. Dressed only in a nightshift, she snatched a robe on her way to the door. There she cracked it open, saw the way was empty, and sneaked out.
The manor was silent and dark. Each step creaked through the floorboards. It was late, so she did not expect anyone to beawake, but she hoped to find someone soon. Proof that this was real life and not a nightmare from which she could not wake.
She walked to the end of the hallway and then down the stairs. Silence was her only friend and darkness greeted her at every turn. She figured then that Gabriel must be in bed and her heart sank… she would have to wait until morning before seeing him.
It was just as she was about to turn and start back toward her room that she heard something… the crackling of a fire. She started and stumbled, tilting her head to listen… indeed, a fire was sizzling somewhere inside the large manor.
She followed the call of the fire, creeping through the manor until she found herself outside the drawing room. Immediately, she saw the fire burning inside its hearth but that was not what took her attention.
Gabriel stood in the room, leaning over the hearth, one drink in hand as he stared deeply into the flames. He wore just a nightshirt, his hair was messy, and even unable to see his face, she could sense the pain he was in.
She stayed by the doorway and watched her husband, taking note of his sunken shoulders, his withdrawn posture… and the sadness that seeped from his pores like body odor. She could literallyfeelit.
This last week had not been easy. What Sophia was only just now starting to realize or consider was that as hard as it had been for her, that maybe Gabriel had suffered the same? Like herself, hewas stubborn to his core, and like herself, even if he had wanted to talk to him, maybe he just could not bring himself to do so.
Is it possible that he missed me? That he felt bad for what happened between us? Or am I just being hopeful? Desperate to break the patterns we’ve found ourselves in so that something new might be forged from this marriage.
Sophia could not say exactly how she felt. What she could say, what was fact, was that he had saved her life. Despite what might have happened before then, she owed him her life. At the very least, she owed him her thanks…
With that in mind, she stepped into the room.
The creak of the floorboard was soft, but in the silence of night, it cried out like the crack of a whip. She caught her breath and froze, her stare trained on Gabriel who hardly seemed to react.
Slowly, he turned. When he saw her in the doorway, relief washed over his face. He smiled too, but it looked like a struggle, one that he felt he should do, rather than wanted.
“You’re awake.” His voice was low, so much that it almost drowned in the crackle of the fire.
“I…” Sophia hesitated, not sure what to say. Should she address what had happened between them? Or simply thank him and leave it at that? “I am. And while my memory is clouded, something tells me I have you to thank for it.”
“Marcus is who you should thank.”
“Who?”
“The stableboy,” he said darkly; a shadow passed behind his eyes. “He is the one who sent for me. Without him, you might have…” He trailed off.
“But you were the one who came for me,” she said, another step into the room. “You found me.”
“You should not have been in a position where you needed to be found,” he said sharply, with a hiss.
Sophia started and leaned back. Anger spread across his features, and for a moment, she thought his ire was directed at her. “All I did was go for a ride,” she said defiantly. “I was not aware I needed permission.”
His expression softened in the reflection of the fire. “Sophia, that is not what I…” He winced. “I was not blaming you. My anger, the blame, that is for me and me alone. Please, do not think any of this is on you.”
“What?” Sophia was surprised by that. “How is it your fault?”
“How is it not?”
“I’m the one who took the horse into the storm.” She couldn’t say why, but the fact that he wanted to take the blame annoyed her. As if she was not capable of making her own mistakes… as silly as that sounded. “I am the one who did not listen when I was told the danger.”
Surprisingly, a smile touched his lips then. It reached his eyes and it was the first time in weeks that Gabriel looked at her with anything that amount to compassion.
“You really have changed.”
