“Oh, honey, we miss you all too but we also know that this is where you’re meant to be. What you’re all building here is wonderful. Besides, you all make enough money that you can visit us whenever you want.”
“I know,” Noni smiles, sitting up but staying close, taking my hand in hers. We watch our families horsing around in silence. There’s a lot of laughter, bickering and name-calling. Thesounds fill me with warmth, and I snigger as Dog takes Gunny down, pushing him under water before swimming away. You’d think they were twenty again, not men in their sixties.
“She’ll be okay, you know,” Noni says softly. I turn to look at her. She eyes me steadily. “She knows how to contact you if she needs your help. I’m guessing she hasn’t used her safe word yet?”
“No, she hasn’t. Do you think she’d remember it?”
“I still remember it,” Noni replies. “I remember when you and Aunt Kate had us memorise them in case, we ever needed you to come and get us. Strawberry Milkshake.”
I murmured, “Something that you could drop into conversation and we’d know you needed us.”
“Yeah, and if she hasn’t used it then you know she’s okay. She’s smart. Smarter than all of us, she’s trained probably more than we know because you know she’s an overachiever. Bella’s okay, Aunt Maggie. She’ll come home when she’s ready.”
“It’s been over two years though,” I murmur.
“Mm and I never came home,” Noni agrees. “I know that’s what you’re worried about. That she’ll never feel comfortable enough to come home. And that may be something that will happen but Bella loves you and Dog. She’ll always keep you updated even if it’s just with messages and when she’s healed enough, I bet she ends up close to you again. Maybe not living at the Manorbecause she has a soft heart and she’d not want to make it awkward for Ally but she’ll be close. She’s a smart cookie.”
“She is,” I agree. Squeezing Noni’s hand, I say. “Thank you, sweet girl. I miss you too, you know. You were my girl long before Bella came along, but I’m glad you’re happy.”
“I am happy,” Noni agrees.
As we watch our families laughing and shouting at each other, a feeling of peace flows over me. Life was uncertain, and I needed to remember that, but Noni had reminded me of something I’d forgotten. Bella hadn’t used the safe word, and I know without a doubt that if she needed us, she’d find a way to let us know.
Noni was right; Bella would come home when she was ready. I needed to keep the faith and be there for her when she did come home. Until then, I’d remember how good life was with the family I had surrounding me and do better at not worrying about things I couldn’t change.
Little did I know that my wait was almost over. But the daughter who had left us was not the same as the one that returned to us.
PART 4
DOG
2017
Going to Zambia for Christmas had been the right choice. Maggie had come back a different woman and was almost like her old self.
We were all fucking relieved. I liked my wife and Old Lady happy, not pretending like she had been. Going from the heat to the cold temperatures of the UK hadn’t been fun, and I could see why Noni, Bull, and the rest of their chapter preferred living where they did. Maybe those of us who are retired should think about spending our winter months there and the summer in the UK. We’d get the best of both worlds then.
The call came in the early hours of the morning, and my stomach sank. Any call during those hours wasn’t going to be good news.
Maggie stirred next to me as I answered my phone. “You got Dog.”
“It’s Cahir,” my breath hitches as fear grips me. This can only be about Bella.
“Is she okay?” I grind out, my hand patting the bed behind me until I find Maggie’s. Putting my phone on speaker, we waited for his reply.
“She’s okay. Beat to shit but nothing life-threatening that we could see. I’m sending her to you. She’s not alone. Her man and the boy she saved are with her.”
Inhaling a relieved breath at his news, I’m aware that Maggie is already getting dressed. “How long until they get there?”
“A couple of hours, Cai’s bringing them.”
Someone calls to him, “I have to go Dog, but we’ll be around to check in as soon as we can.”
He ends the call, and I stand taking Maggie in my arms. We breathe easy for the first time in years. Cupping her cheeks, I tilt her face up to mine. “She’s okay, gorgeous. She’s okay.” I don’t stop the tears that roll down my cheeks as relief fills me. Maggie wraps her arms around my waist and holds me as I cry into her shoulder.
“It’s okay honey, it’s okay,” she croons, rubbing her hands up and down my back. “It’s okay.”
She holds me until I take one last shaky breath and lift my head from where I’d buried it in her neck.
