The frustration in her voice cut me up. How could this woman think she wasn’t enough? She was so much more than enough. She was everything.
“You’re busy,” I murmured. “Busy being awesome at your job and busy being an awesome mom. The bushes and the creaky steps? Small potatoes in the grand scheme. And I can help.”
She nodded once, her body loosening beside me. The muscles in her jaw were no longer tense like they’d been when she said she was never enough. Like this stupid window was a symbol for the other parts of her she hadn’t had time to fix.
But tonight, she’d let me help.
As we stood silently, both still looking out the window, I couldn’t help but think how idiotic I was to assume that showing up meant flowers, fancy dates, gifts, or back rubs. The Instagrammable type of effort. Cliched shit.
In reality, this was showing up. It didn’t have to be loud or flashy. And I was beginning to realize this may just be my superpower.
And Evie was finally letting me use it.
“I wanted to ask you something,” I said. “Feel free to say no.”
She dropped her arms to her sides, which felt like a gesture of cooperation.
“You’ve mentioned a few times that you wish you had a fireplace. That you enjoy sitting by a fire to relax.”
She nodded.
“What if I built a fire pit out back? With a small patio?”
Her eyes widened. “You can do that?”
“Yeah. Josh and I built a massive one at the farm. And we’ll do another at Jess’s house when it’s finished.”
Maybe her family wasn’t the type to build and create things. Maybe they hired people to mow the lawn or fix the roof, but I was a farm kid. We used good old Yankee ingenuity and elbow grease to get things done.
“That’s too much.”
Lips pressed together, I shook my head. “I’ve already drawn up some sketches to show you, but I don’t want to intrude.”
She blinked and searched my face, a line forming between her brows, as if she was looking for an ulterior motive. She was too smart and guarded to just say yes to all my outrageous plans.
“Sitting around a fire is one of life’s great pleasures,” I explained. “My dad taught me to build a fire and nurture it and keep it going.” Heat prickled at the backs of my eyes, but I continued on. “I’d like to teach my son like he taught me.”
My son.
I desperately wanted to share these things with him. Take long hikes and talk about life. Teach him about tapping trees and keeping bears off the property.
But Evie had gone eerily silent.
My stomach pitched. Shit. I’d probably offended her.
I cupped the back of my neck and squeezed. “I know it’s silly. If you hate the idea?—”
“I don’t hate it,” she blurted out. “I’ve always wanted a patio, and a fire pit would be wonderful.”
“Great, then I’ll work on it.”
She twirled the end of her ponytail like she always did when something was bothering her. “I just.” She closed her eyes, as if searching for the right words. “I don’t want to take advantage of your generosity. I could wait. Hire someone eventually.”
“I want to.”
She frowned at me, confusion swimming in her eyes.
Damn, this woman was just not getting it.
