“Evie. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have offered. I’m a simple guy. I want to be here. I want to help you out. I want to be Vincent’s dad.”
She opened her mouth as if to respond, but I went on before she could, my head full of steam.
“In my world, this is what dads do.” I gripped the edge of the countertop on either side of me. “They fixproblems, they provide when they can, and they help out. This isn’t just your house.”
Her brows rose, and a concerned look flashed across her face.
“It’s our son’s home,” I said softly before she could get the wrong idea. “And that means something to me. I may not live here, but I’m damn sure going to provide the best possible home for him. You are so capable, so if I can mow the grass or fix a window or even build a patio to take a little of the load off you, then I’m happy to do it.”
For a long moment she only stared. My nerves made me restless, but I didn’t move. I’d probably said too much. I’d probably tipped my hand. We’d been tiptoeing around this arrangement for months. And so far, ignoring it had worked.But at some point, we had to face the facts that we had a baby together but weren’t a couple.
I’d respected every one of her boundaries since day one, but this was a silly place to draw a line, so tonight, I’d push a little.
My mom used to say I wore my heart on my sleeve. For years I thought that was a bad thing, a curse to battle against. I worked hard to be detached and indifferent.
Maybe it was because I was sleeping on the ground. Maybe I was too damn tired to wage that war any longer. Because the urge to be myself with Evie and Vincent, to let them see who I was, had taken over. Maybe I didn’t have much to offer, but this was one area in which I could contribute.
“I’m not going away,” I said softly, grasping her hand.
The touch sent a surge of energy through me, giving me the strength to stand straighter and step closer.
Her eyes widened, and her chest rose as she inhaled deeply.
“This is who I am,” I said with a squeeze of her hand. “You’ve heard a lot of bullshit rumors about me, but they aren’t true. I want Vincent to know me. I want to teach him and guide him to grow into a man who can be authentic and strong and vulnerable. But in order to do that, I need to be here, contributing. Coparenting or whatever you want to call it.”
She lowered her head a fraction, breaking eye contact. “I know.”
Realizing that my passionate plea had been a little too loud, I forced a calming breath. “I’m doing it,” I said, my voice lower. “I’ve given you time and space and support. He’s my son too. He’s never even met my family. Never been out to the farm.”
She reeled back like she had been punched.
My gut dropped. Shit. But still, Gabe’s words echoed in my ears.
“This is bigger than a window, Evie. I’ve earned the right to fully participate in Vincent’s life.”
“You have,” she admitted, her lip trembling. “And I’m sorry. He should go to the farm, meet the family. I think it would be lovely.”
The tightness in my chest eased. I had not expected that reaction.
“I want those things for him too.” She shook her head, tears cresting her lashes. “You have been a great dad. And you’re right. I’ve treated you like shit.”
I deflated. Fuck. I was a total dick.
“No, that’s not true,” I said, panic rising in my chest. “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”
“Don’t be sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong.” She covered her face, her shoulders shaking.
I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. Dammit. What the hell was I thinking harassing the exhausted new mom like this?
“You’re a good man,” she said into my now damp shirt. “And I hate that we’re fighting about…” She sniffled. “About home repairs. What a dumb thing for me to get territorial about.”
She pulled back and looked up at me. Even like this, face tearstained, her beauty hit me straight in the solar plexus. Every time I was close to her, every time I got to touch her, I was overwhelmed with this intense need to be even closer.
“I’ve been dismissive and downright nasty to you,” she whispered.
I handed her a paper towel. She used it to dab at her eyes, then blew her nose with it. It was adorable.
“I’m a bitch,” she said, fresh tears falling. “I push you away, and you just keep coming back. Do you know how infuriating that is?”
