With lip filler.
I snort a laugh.
Wild Kard
You are a goddess.
He is an asshole.
Me
No argument there.
Wild Kard
Said asshole just gave a public statement saying he’s “working things out” with you.
Tell me he’s lying.
Oh, for the love of God.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Pierce Maddox.
Douchebag with every media outlet on speed dial.
Crowned king of spin, lies, and damage control.
Me
Of course, he’s lying.
Wild Kard
So, he doesn’t know where you are?
Me
No one knows.
Wild Kard
Thank fuck. I was two seconds from catching the next flight…
Packed with plausible deniability…
And bail money.
Me
More like Don Julio 1942 and a bulletproof alibi.
Wild Kard
On it. Crisis averted. I’ll reschedule all your shit, hold down the fort, and wrangle your mayhem of a calendar into submission.
Me
Thanks, Kali!