Too puffy-eyed. Too emotionally cracked open to do this on a packed plane.
I’m about to shove my phone into my backpack and ignore her when it pings again.
It’s a meme of a dumpster fire with the caption Everything’s Fine.
I laugh out loud.
Wild Kard
I told the paps you left the country.
To marry Prince Harry.
Me
Prince Harry is already married.
Wild Kard
Yes. To an actress, which makes it totally believable.
Nothing gets those bloodsuckers on a plane in the wrong direction like a sisterwife situation.
I swear, she’s the only one who can cheer me up in a crisis.
I smile and watch the bubbles dance.
Wild Kard
Are you okay?
I could’ve driven you to the airport.
Considering I slipped off her sofa before the ass crack of dawn and raced to LAX, she probably tracked me through the locator app.
I suck in a breath and type three important words.
Me
I will be.
Wild Kard
Booze helps.
Best when body-shot off some hot guy’s navel.
Me
Tequila rimmed with belly button lint. I think not.
Wild Kard
Speaking of rim… Brielle Blakely?
Really??
She’s an emotional rim job.
