Tevin was eleven years old. You would think that with him, and Bash being close in age, and both into football, that they would have been close, and have a good relationship, but that wasn’t the case. Tevin wanted to be just like his big brother, so he was following behind his footsteps, and being mean to my son too.
Malik sucked his teeth, and he took the bags out of my hand, and he walked with them inside the house. I let Bash know to take the bags into the kitchen, and for him to head to the bathroom next, so that he could shower.
I went into the dining room area, where Toya was, so that I could give her a quick hug. I did the same with Tevin. I let her know that I was going to use her bathroom really quick, and like always, she assured me that that was fine. I moved quickly, needing to see what the results were going to be for this pregnancy test. I had to pass by her daughter’s Kamari’s bedroom, to get to Toya’s room. Kamari was eight years old, and she was a sweet little girl. She was chilling in her bed, watching TV. I stopped to speak to her for a second, and then I finished in my move to get to Toya’s bathroom.
I went inside, closed the door behind me, and because this wasn’t my first rodeo, I knew what to do with the test. I quickly peed on the stick, and I sat the test down on a piece of paper towel that I sat on the counter. When I finished, I wiped, and I went over to the sink, so that I could wash my hands.
I stepped away from the test, putting my back against the wall, and when three minutes passed, that’s when I walked over to the test, and when I saw the double lines, I let out a scream.
“Fuckkkkk!” I shouted.
A second after me doing that, the bathroom door opened. Toya’s bathroom door wouldn’t lock for whatever reason. I tried to be slick, and quickly moved the test, so that whoever was barging in wouldn’t be able to see it. It was Toya that walked in with a confused look on her face. She glared at me, and then the test in my hands.
“Girl, you scared the shit out of me! I came back here to sit down for a second, and I heard you scream. You pregnant?” she asked me.
“Yeah. Don’t worry. I’m not keeping it though. Shit!” I said, going for the toilet, where the seat was down, and I sat.
I kept the test in my lap, and I ran my hand down my face. Toya came over, and she stood in front of me. She reached her hand out, so that she could put it on my shoulder. Toya hasbeen my girl for many years. We met back in middle school. I was grateful to have her in my life. She could have easily told me that she didn’t have enough space in her home for me, and Bash, but she didn’t. In fact, when I lost my apartment, she was the first one that offered me a place to stay, but I turned it down, not wanting to impede, and that’s why I moved in with Toby. I should have moved in with her when she said it because I wouldn’t have been in this fucked up position right now… pregnant. Also, my son wouldn’t have had to witness a murder.
“Don’t feel like you have to get rid of your baby because that’ll be another person that your bringing in here. You’ll carry that baby for nine months, Kalani. You don’t know where you’ll be in nine months. You’ll probably have a spot around that time for you, Bash, and the new baby. You sure you want to get an abortion?” she asked me, and I looked up at her like she was crazy.
“Toya, that’ll be another baby that I’m raising on my own. Toby is gone. I don’t want to put myself in another fucked up situation like this again. I’m going to call and make an appointment, so that I can terminate the pregnancy,” I voiced, and she nodded, accepting what I was saying to her.
“Let me know when the appointment is, so that I can go with you. What’s wrong with Bash?” she asked, changing the subject.
“Just one of those days for him, you know? He had a breakdown in the car, crying, hating the position that me and him are in. My boy is going to be okay. He’s strong,” I let her know.
“And your strong too, Kalani. This is just a steppingstone for you, and Bash. Shit won’t be fucked up like this forever. And you don’t have to sleep on that couch with him. I told you that you, and Bash can take Kamari’s room. That little girl don’t sleep in there. She’s in my room most nights. I know that couch gotta be killing your back,” Toya said, and just like any other time thatshe tried to offer her daughters room to me, I turned her down, letting her know that me, and Bash would continue to sleep on the couch.
“Ma, it’s some detectives outside. They said they here to talk to Kalani, and Bash,” Tevin, her youngest son yelled from the front.
Hearing that the detectives were here, caused me to suck my teeth, and I wanted to just sink into this fuckin toilet.
I hated that Bash even told them that Rico killed Toby. To know my son is to know that he loved Rico Briggs. That was his favorite football player in the entire world. He wanted to be just like him.
“Let me go outside, and see what they want,” I let Toya know. She stepped out of the way, so that I could stand up.
When I walked out of the bathroom, and out into the hallway, I could hear the shower water running in the kids bathroom, so I knew that Bash was inside, taking his shower, like I told him to. I knocked, just so that I could get his attention.
“Bash, when you finish up, come outside. The detectives are here, and they want to talk to you,” I let him know.
“I don’t want to talk to them, ma! Tell them that I’m not here! I don’t know who killed Toby! I don’t even know why I told them that!” he screamed at me.
I removed myself from the door, allowing him to have his shower in peace.
The detectives weren’t in the apartment. They were standing outside of it. It was two of them. Detective Bryant, and his partner. They were talking amongst each other, but when I walked out, they stopped, so that they could turn, and look at me.
“Bash is in the shower. He also doesn’t want to come out and talk to you all. I need you two to understand that this is a tough time for my son and I. My baby is only ten, and he had towatch someone that he knew, and loved, get killed right in front of him. He’s hurting behind that. Not only that, but I’m trying to better our living arrangements, so with that, he’s taking on a lot. Whatever questions that you have to ask, can you just ask me? As far as my son putting the blame on Rico, I have no idea why he did that. I’ve had multiple conversations with him, and he has no proof that Rico killed Toby. He repeated something that Toby told him to say without any real proof,” I let them in on an earful.
They both just nodded their heads, and Detective Bryant was the one to clear his throat.
“That’s okay, Kalani. We aren’t here to press him about that anyways. We just wanted him out, so that we could let both of you know that we were closing the case. I guess you can just pass the message along to him. We’ve had a week to review everything. We had Rico come to the station, and everything that he told us checked out. His alibi checks out, phone records, time stamps, so it proves that he wasn’t there when the incident occurred. During our week of investigating, we were able to do more digging on Toby. After we found out what we did about him, I’m honestly surprised that you would have had someone like him around your son. His drug activity, ongoing beef with members of gangs, a criminal record that dates back to twelve years old, isn’t the example you needed for Bash,” he went on to say.
I kept quiet because these detectives knew that my living arrangements were fucked up at this point, and they also knew that I just had my son around someone that was a criminal, so I didn’t want to give them any ammunition to be nasty, dig deeper, and try to take my son away from me.
“So, where do we go from here?” I just wanted to know.
“There isn’t enough evidence to move forward with charges against anyone. We’re going to close the case,” he replied.
