Clearly she hadn’t sounded anymore convincing to Jon’s ears than she had her own so tried to clarify. “Like I said before, Imight need some time. I know I’ve had a couple of weeks but I don’t know whether that helped really.”
“Why didn’t it help? Where did you go?” asked Jon with a frown.
“Because being away just made me realise how much I love you and question how on earth I was going to function without you as anything other than my boss,” Steph explained. “I went to a hotel, I didn’t plan it, I got back home and saw your car so just got in my own and drove. I drove aimlessly really and cried. I realised that I was still in evening wear so when I saw a supermarket, I went shopping for clothes and stuff. From there I just drove some more, went through a few villages until I found a hotel and booked in and that’s where I stayed. I did lots of walking, thinking, crying and I even managed some horse riding, but I was only ever thinking of you and what had happened. There were people there throughout the week, businessmen who actually made me feel even shittier about myself.”
“Why? What did they do? Did any of them hurt you?” He sounded fearful of her reply.
“No. But I watched them and some of them offered me a drink or weren’t even that subtle in their approach and I did wonder whether that was me all over. If I gave off some kind of aura that suggested I was slutty Steph and that this was as much as I deserved, but then I considered one offer,” she told him and looked up to find sad and guilty eyes looking back at her. “He was called Richard, but I only gave him the time of day because he reminded me of you and then he referred to me as darling and I knew I couldn’t even consider anyone that wasn’t you. I also realised that I deserved better than married dickheads in hotel bars and Simon. That was kind of because of you.” She smiled, relieved to see a smile curling Jon’s lips and eyes that looked happier.
“Me?”
“Yes, you, because you treated me better and made me realise that I deserved to be treated well, like you treat me. Although, I kind of forgot what I deserved the other night in the bar.”
“Darling, it sounds as though your time away was helpful if it made you realise how much you love and need me and convinced you that you only deserve the best, even if it did nearly fucking kill me,” he told her seriously as he looked down into her eyes, the sadness back again.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I couldn’t deal with you and I did want to punish you for hurting me.”
“I get that but I didn’t know which way to turn, Steph. Nobody knew where you were and I stalked everybody. I flitted between here, yours and the office desperately hoping to find you’d come back. The flowers in your office were for me as much as you, so that if you turned up there before I was aware then you would see that I had been thinking of you.” He laughed at her expression. “It made sense at the time, but as each day passed it seemed less likely you’d ever come back. I ate, breathed and slept you, although food and sleep weren’t high on my list of priorities. I even spoke to a private investigator to see if there was any way of tracing you via your phone, car or credit card, but apparently there are laws against it and the word stalker was mentioned more than once.”
“I’m sorry,” repeated Steph stretching up to stroke his cheek, the one she’d slapped. “I’m sorry I hit you, too.”
“Nowthatyou should be sorry for because it fucking hurt! My jaw was rattling for days, although I missed it when it stopped because it somehow took me further away from you,” he admitted with a cringe. “I really am that pathetic without you. The guy at the hotel, I know I have no right to ask, but you and him, you didn’t, well nothing happened with you . . .” he beganto ask and then stopped awkwardly as if he needed to know but really didn’t want to.
“No, nothing. I liked him because he reminded me of you. It could have happened but I soon realised he couldn’t give me what I wanted or needed. He wasn’t you and that’s all I wanted. You. And that is how pathetic I am without you.”
“We really are a pathetic pair, aren’t we?” He smiled now.
“Yes, yes we are,” she agreed, reciprocating his smile. “So, what do you want to talk about now?” She felt slightly happier, if still confused.
“Anything,” he replied. “Whatever you want to.”
Steph laughed and asked seriously, “Did Sophie Marley come and grass on me?”
Jon laughed too. “She was waiting for me when I got back to my office after I saw you earlier. Andrea was telling her that I had no availability and she was doing her best,do you know who I am?”
“Who won that particular battle?” Steph relaxed with the easy flow of conversation.
“I’d say Andrea won on points because she told her that she knew she was a new business manager in the company and a middle class whore who was hoping to shag the boss.” Jon grinned at Steph’s startled expression.
“No way! Not super professional Andrea!” she cried.
“Oh, yes,” laughed Jon. “That was just before she saw me and asked,how was your girlfriend, Miss Pryor?”
Steph laughed loudly at the idea of the usually professional Andrea getting shirty with Sophie. “What did Sophie say?” Steph still laughed.
“Not much, I took Sophie into my office where she commented on our matching photos.” He arched a brow as he revealed his knowledge and happiness that Steph had now put her photo on display.
“Yours is back out?”
“I returned it to its rightful place as soon as I returned to my office. I did apologise to Sophie for making her late for your meeting, but fully supported your decision to remove her from the Montague deal because she could have left whenever she had wanted and been on time. I also told her that she should never try to use the fact that our families are connected as leverage or her career with Brookers would be a short one.”
“Wow,” muttered Steph, smiling to herself and wishing she had seen the other woman’s face at the time.
“Then I told her that you were the only girl for me and whether she or any of our family members thought we’d be a good match, they’d be wrong,” Jon said seriously.
“Does she know about Penny?”
“When we got married, we kept it quiet, low key. Obviously our families and closest friends came to the wedding but nobody else. I assume Sophie’s family knew I’d married, but I have never had a conversation with her about me and Penny and have no intention of doing so.”
