“This is Steph,” Jon said, drawing her back in. “She’s my girlfriend,” he added, causing Steph’s jaw to drop. “Can you see she’s glaring at me now, Pen? I think I might be in trouble,” he laughed and the sound of that seemed to stimulate a response from Penny who appeared to nod her head. “Steph, come and say hi to Penny,” he encouraged with an outstretched hand towards a very nervous looking and feeling Steph.
Seventeen
The drive back remained almost silent. Music from the stereo filled the space between them. Steph was unsure what to say, if there was anything to say. Every time she thought of something it seemed lame or inadequate and while she understood Jon’s position, she was still struggling to reconcile all that she now knew. He had been expecting a baby and had married the child’s mother and remained married to her when she was as far removed from the role of a wife as anyone could be. She kept coming back to the image of Jon, a single tear rolling down his face when he’d told her about the baby dying. She wanted to make him feel better and yet she was still annoyed with him. He could have told her straight away about Penny, although, now that she thought about it there had been no reference to Penny or a wife when she had looked online and definitely no mention of a baby.
“I need to go into the office this afternoon,” Jon said.
“I’ll need to get changed,” Steph replied.
“You don’t have to work today, darling. I will drop you home and we could meet up later. You could take it easy and if you insist, you can come into the office tomorrow.”
“I’ll come in once I’m changed.”
“No. I’m not being a dick here, but as your line manager I have to say I don’t think you’re fit for work today. But later . . .”
“I don’t think I can do later. Sorry. I just need time to process everything and I should go and see my dad.”
“What about dinner,” Jon almost pleaded.
“Tomorrow. I’ll come into work. Maybe we could have a cup of tea together,” Steph suggested.
“Are you trying to give me the brush off? To dump me?” Jon asked with a flatness to his voice that didn’t quite sound authentic.
“I don’t know. I love you and I understand your tie to Penny, but it’s a lot to take in.”
Jon nodded but said no more until he pulled his car into the space next to Steph’s. “If you need to ask anything call me, any time, day or night.”
“Okay,” was all Steph could muster in response as she prepared to leave the car.
“Steph,” Jon called, causing her to pause and turn back to face him. “Your key,” he said, extending a flat hand that held his key to her home.
Slowly, she reached forward, curling his hand closed as she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Maybe keep it, for now.”
“I knewthere was something dodgy about him. Too good to be true,” Jason accused.
Steph rolled her eyes in her father’s direction at her brother’s outrage at discovering Jon’s marital status.
“I hope you’ve shown him the door . . . you’re not some skanky slapper who shags married men,” he shouted angrily just as Janice entered the lounge carrying tea for everyone.
An awkward silence fell around them until Steph addressed the other woman who looked mortified at having entered atthat exact second. “I owe you an apology, Janice,” she began as confused faces around her intensified. “What you did, you and dad was wrong. No matter what Mum said, it was wrong, how you conducted it. However, I should apologise for having judged you in recent years and for the things I said at the hospital. I knew Jon was married when I entered a relationship with him. I was confused as to who his wife was, but I knew there was a wife which means I have no right to judge you. Jon’s wife is ill . . .”
“Ill? Ill like Mum was?” Jason asked, retaking his seat next to his sister.
Steph explained the circumstances of Jon’s marriage and Penny’s current predicament and waited for a response from someone, anyone.
“Poor Jon,” her dad finally said.
Janice looked as though she was going to cry before saying, “Sorry Steph, and you Jason. I acted selfishly in beginning a relationship with your father. I knew we had your mother’s blessing but that shouldn’t have been enough. We should have waited and neither of you should have been witness to anything we did. And the day your mother died, I’m sorry for that, too. Your grief overwhelmed me and forced me to face my own guilt, but I am sorry.”
Steph accepted the apology that she didn’t doubt was sincere and although she didn’t feel able to say ‘it was okay’ she was ready to move on.
“Do you promise Jon didn’t do this to your face?” Jason asked, clearly riled and agitated.
“I swear it wasn’t him. He wouldn’t. I told you I found some stables while I was away and fell off a rather large chestnut mare,” she told her brother thinking he didn’t need to know anything about her altercation with Simon.
“Drink your tea,” her father said, hoping to move on to a more relaxed topic of conversation.
Ready for an earlystart at work, Steph dressed rather sombrely in a black trouser suit, grey blouse and black heeled boots. It seemed to match her mood that was partly due to a sleepless night that had seen thoughts of the last few weeks running through her head. The image of the single tear rolling down Jon’s cheek haunted Steph. Her heart lurched and tears threatened every time she thought of his face, etched with grief at the memory of losing his son. Briefly, Steph wondered if the baby had been his. Did it matter? She reasoned that it didn’t because in Jon’s mind and heart that baby had been his and that is why it had hurt him so much.
