“No we can’t, we won’t. Do you feel up to going out this morning, with me?”
“Yes, but work . . .”
“Work will be there later or tomorrow. But we, I need to be completely honest with you before I can truly ask you to move forward with me. I need to move a couple of things, but you get dressed and then we’ll go, if you’ll let me explain?”
Steph nodded and was already on her feet, unsure what she’d agreed to, but knew if there was a way of moving forward with Jon she’d take it, just not as his mistress.
“You’ve broughtme to the park, to be completely honest? Is this in case I try and do a runner again? I have no clue where we are,” Steph said as she walked along the gravelled, tree lined path that led towards some kind of children’s playground they’d driven about forty minutes to reach.
“No, not really.” Jon sighed. He’d done a lot of that during the journey.
“I want to stop you looking so worried,” Steph told him as she stopped and faced him. “I want to tell you that everything will be okay and it can’t be that bad, but I can’t.”
“I know.”
Steph reached across and took Jon’s hand. “Swing or slide?” she suddenly asked.
“What?”
“Favourite item on the playground?”
“Oh, erm, I’m not sure. I always liked the roundabout, but swings I suppose.” He frowned, but it softened as Steph smiled at him.
“Me too, swings.”
Racing off down the path and into the playground that was empty with Jon following, Steph took up her position on a swing and was relieved when Jon took the one next to her. They sat, gently swaying in silence for a few minutes before Jon finally spoke.
“Did Charlie ever tell you about our time at uni?”
“Not much. He spoke about uni, anecdotes and stories, but nothing specific. We were only together a short time really. I think he mentioned you in terms of his best friend who lived abroad.”
“There was a girl at uni, Penny. She was Charlie’s friend first. He introduced us and we became friends. There was a small group of us. She was pretty, bright and funny, everyone liked her.”
“Your wife?” Steph almost choked on the last word.
Jon nodded. “During our final year at uni she got involved with a guy . . . a bad news kind of guy. Charlie and I tried to warn her off, we all did but she wouldn’t listen.”
Steph remained silent.
“When I left uni I got a job in the city but also had a broker and bought shares, bought low and sold high. I invested wisely and within a year I had a company to run. Charlie and I both lost touch with Penny until out of the blue she called Charlie. She was in a mess. She’d become involved in drugs and was stone broke.”
“Okay,” Steph said now, thinking that she ought to make some contribution. Looking across at Jon she could see that he was struggling to tell her the story of him and Penny and she had to admit that she couldn’t see how this was ever going to unfold into one where she was his wife.
“Sorry. It’s a mess really and I am trying to tell you everything.”
“Okay,” Steph repeated.
“I paid for rehab and she did well; got clean and stayed that way for several months. We got close, closer than we’d ever been. I was expanding my business and was going to America for a while. We slept together before I left and I think we both thought it was a one off.”
“Jon, I really don’t understand . . .”
“I know, sorry. I went to America, made some business deals. I came home once things were set up and was confronted with Penny, a pregnant Penny.”
“Shit! Yours?” Steph thought it was obviously his baby. Suddenly, she felt nausea rising at the realisation that they had a child.
“She said so and I had no reason to disbelieve her. Penny told me that she didn’t expect me to be more than our child’s father, but that’s not me. I asked her to marry me and she agreed.”
She offered no response because all she had in that moment were questions.
