Olivia
There is no thought before I open my mouth and begin to speak which might be a really bad thing because Mason is so determined to marry and I’m not.
“Mason, you can’t steamroll me into this.”
“Baby, this is not steamrolling. I am simply stating my case,” he says but I can already detect some tension edging into his voice.
“I have told you that I don’t believe in marriage, that I have no desire to be married and that it means nothing to me and yet you still chose to propose and now you are bringing up the subject when I have been ignoring it. I think that qualifies as steamrolling, don’t you?”
“No,” he replies determinedly. “If I was steamrolling on this, I wouldn’t have allowed you to have deferred all conversation with sex until you were barely able to move.”
Yes, tension is oozing from every word now.
“Mase.” I sigh. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Could we compromise?” I’m desperate not to fall out about this, about anything.
“How Olivia? What’s the compromise on this? You marry or you don’t, there is no partially married, is there?”
He’s right, there is no middle ground and now I really am at a loss for words.
“Olivia, I don’t want to fight with you over this. I really am just trying to be open and upfront with you. I love you and want to spend my life with you, to marry you and for us to have children, but I am not going to drag you up the aisle against your will because more than anything I want you to want those things with me.”
“Mase—” I am ready to cry at his heartfelt words that I absolutely believe to be true, but I don’t know what else to say.
“Please, don’t say anything else, just promise me you’ll think about it and when you’re ready we’ll talk again.”
“Yes,” I whisper and suddenly worry that I might have just missed my one chance to say yes to his proposal. “I really do love you.” I do and I don’t want to lose him.
“I know, baby. I love you too.” There’s a genuine softness to his voice as he continues, “I’m sorry I’ve upset you, but it was killing me not to say something. I will be back soon and when you’re ready we’ll talk.”
“Okay.”
“I should go, so be good. Remember what we’ve agreed, that you’re to stay with my mum until I get home and then we’ll sort everything out?”
“I will.” As we hang up, I feel a darkness wash over me.
Tommy is already up when I get downstairs, making tea. I readily accept a cup when it’s offered and happily follow him through to the sunroom.
“I could kiss you for this room,” he announces, startling me. “My wife is happy and when Charlotte is happy, we all are.” He laughs. “Except you, you don’t look happy.”
I don’t know why but I find myself opening up, explaining about Conrad Mathers and Raymond, my dad and even Mason’s proposal, but that’s exactly what I do.
“Wow, that’s a lot of things to juggle, Liv.” He shakes his head. “Which one is making you look like you’re one word from tears though?”
“Mase’s proposal,” I reply honestly and without hesitation.
“Do you love him?”
“Of course, more than anything.” I see him looking at me as if to ask,what’s the problem then?“Marriages haven’t always been that great from what I’ve seen; my parents, stepparents, people in the church. I don’t get why it matters to Mase, he’s tried it once and failed. No offence, but you’re Charlotte’s fifth husband, why would you want to be number five of five?”
I hadn’t intended for my words to be rude and really didn’t intend to cause offense but looking at Tommy’s face I’m unsure if I’ve done exactly that.
“You are to the point, aren’t you?” He laughs, alleviating the tension. “Mase tried it once and it failed because Arianna was the wrong girl for him. They both treated it like a business transaction but with you it’s different. He is head over heels for you. He loves you like he has never loved anyone, so much so that he needs you to be his, in every way you can be.”
“He told you that?”
“He doesn’t need to, it’s written all over his face every time he looks at you, speaks about you or is thinking of you. Oh, and as for me being number five of five, I know I will be the last of five and I can live with that. Charlotte is a wonderful woman who has found four other men to love before me, but she won’t find another one after me, we complete each other. If you want to know if I wish I’d met her when were younger? Then yes. To have only ever been married to her and her to me? Yes again. But the past is the past and can’t be changed, but the future? That is all ours.”
“You think I should marry Mase,” I almost tell Tommy.
