“So, are you still up for the design work?” My words are clipped and my tone terse.
“Depends on whether you can stop being an arsehole.”
She is sitting on the sofa and struggling to get comfortable by the looks of it. She looks fit to burst.
“I’m not being an arsehole.” I kind of am with her but I am seriously pissed off with what she may have known about Anita and didn’t see fit to tell me. “If you don’t want the work, I can find another designer.”
She laughs. “Yeah, in fact, I believe Christian would be happy to do your designs.”
“Fuck off, Liv. I don’t know why you’re pushing my buttons and seem to be painting me in the role of villain in this, but I am the innocent party.”
It’s probably a good job that Mase isn’t here, or he’d kick my arse for telling her to fuck off, but Liv can take it with the best of them.
“Fuck off yourself, and I am not pushing your buttons, your own stupidity is doing that for you, and you are innocent to a point, but so is Anita.”
I let out a huff that turns into some kind of growl, startling Liv who closes her eyes and seems to be counting.
“You okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She waves my words off. “You didn’t. Look, maybe we should talk this through. You must have questions of me and my role in whatever it is you think has gone on.”
She staggers to her feet and waddles towards the kitchen where she battles with the coffee machine before resorting to the kettle.
Once she has finished the drinks, I join her on the opposite side of the breakfast bar. We make polite chit chat for a few minutes and then she addresses the elephant in the room.
“Fire away, Dec.”
“Did you know about the baby?”
“I walked in on a conversation…well, more a berating of Anita by Christian at your mother’s house…at my baby shower.”
That explains the weird moods and atmosphere after the shower at least.
Liv continues. “I heard him say she’d had an abortion. Anita avoided me and I didn’t see Christian again until you found us in the kitchen. Anita hadn’t got round to telling me everything when he burst in and acted like his usual dickhead self. He roughed me up and was vile to Anita, telling her if she didn’t recommend using him on your new place, he’d tell you about her aborting the baby.”
“Go on.” I feel as though Mase earned the right to punch Christian, but I am really jealous that he did it and not me. My stomach churns at the thought of him daring to speak to Anita the way I know he did.
“Mase is angry with Anita, for not telling you and that has made it awkward for me and her to meet up, plus she was upset and trying to get her shit together. She’s told the family everything and came to see me to explain it too.”
“What’s to explain?” I feel agitated again and want my sister-in-law not to justify what Anita did.
“She regrets not telling you everything.”
I immaturely roll my eyes. Liv ignores that.
“When you told her about Amber, she didn’t know how you’d react. She was scared that you’d lash out and behave, well, exactly as you did, so, maybe she was justified in keeping quiet.”
“So, this is my fault? Unbelievable, both of you!”
“Not what I meant, and you know it. Look, unlike Amber she didn’t have a good man who was going to take care of her child, she had a married man who lied to her and took advantage! Shit, he never even paid for the abortion he told her she had to have. He said he would but then backed down on it. This is not my story to tell, but she didn’t put the baby up for adoption because she didn’t want her or love her. Quite the opposite. She did it because she couldn’t see an alternative. Her perception of abortion was that it equated to her killing her own child and that wasn’t something she could do without good reason, but she wanted that baby to have the best life where she would be her parent’s whole world and while I believe Anita could have given her that, it would have been hard and Christian would never have even acknowledged her existence, assuming their paths ever crossed again.”
I let Liv’s words sink in.
“She loves you Declan. Your comparison of her and Amber hurt her. Not as much as giving up her baby, nor losing you, but they did hurt her.”
“I was so scared, Liv, risking getting hurt again, but I thought she was the one for me.” I hear the break in my voice.
“Maybe she still is.”
