“If you’d told me, I’d have come to pick you up.”
I glanced along the pew and took the seat that was Luc’s usual position at the end by the aisle. Maria carefully moved herself along to sit beside me. “You have enough to deal with at the moment. I can make my way to the church without the fuss,” she said. There was a beat of silence and I looked up ahead, then Maria spoke again, “You were meant to be his salvation from all of this.”
“I was meant to help pay off my Dad’s debt and leave,” I corrected her. “There isn’t anything you can say that could make me feel worse than I already do, Maria.” We held a tense relationship. I was the reason her youngest son was dead, and, in her eyes, the reason Luc was still involved in all the criminal work that he took on. I was the villain in the story, and I’d done nothing to redeem myself. We’d had this conversation on a few occasions. Her resentment for me only dimmed because I held access to her grandchildren.
“He’ll never be able to walk away now. Is this really what you wanted for Link?”
I shifted in my seat, completely unprepared for this argument today. “I want what’s best for my son, just like you want what’s best for yours. That doesn’t always equate to the same thing, Maria. Luc will not leave this family and I will not leave his side. You need to accept that this is his life, and this is where our family will stay.”
“I hope for both your sakes that it’s worth it.”
I didn’t bother to respond to her as people began to take their seats for the service. Dante straddled the fine line between Foster and Moretti one last time as a pallbearer for Xavier before he joined me, taking up the seat directly behind.
The service began and my muscles tensed, mouth refusing to open for hymns and prayers sounding muffled in my ears. My eyes were fixed on the coffin, a closed casket affair because, as Dante had informed me, my shot had done some severe damage to Xavier’s face. That detail had done nothing to help soothe the nightmares. It amazed me that the entire church was packed when so many had openly expressed their disdain towards Xavier after his death. Another example of how duty bound them above their personal afflictions.
By the time Father Duffy had concluded the service at the graveside, people were quick to leave. Their duty was done, and they saw no need to hang around for longer than necessary. Xavier no longer pulled their strings, requiring them to show him any loyalty, and I didn’t command any of them to stick around.
“Finish business and then back to the hospital?” Dante asked, standing next to me.
“I—” But I’d barely got the word out when Dante cut me off.
“The sooner you get it done, the sooner we can leave. No point in dragging it out, Mia.”
With a sigh that materialised as a misty white cloud in front of me, I said, “I won’t be long.”
“I won’t be far.” Dante left me and joined Vittoria.
My eyes darted around, taking account of every single person that was employed by Luc. None of them had gone far. All of them were watching me closely as they’d been ordered to do. Taking in a deep breath, I walked towards the Moretti pair that was left standing by the grave. Emilia saw me first. Her face was partially hidden behind a sheer black veil. As I drew closer, I could see her eyes were glassy with unshed tears.
“I trust that you’d remember the kindness we showed you when you first joined this family, Mia,” Emilia said, voice thick with emotion. She made no move towards me and I was frozen to the spot.
Somewhere inside me, an ugliness reared its head. The same twisted ugliness that made my finger squeeze the trigger and plan meticulously to get what I wanted. It pushed against the boundaries that held it in place, longing to reach out and take a swipe at Emilia for the words she’d just spoken.
Kindness? I’d barely known of Emilia other than she was the lady of the house. Emilia had never extended an invite even when she’d known I’d be marrying Luc. I was too low in the pecking order for her to care about what I did until I came for her throat. She underestimated me, just like everyone else. The image of her, smug and self-serving at the ball when she’d delivered the news that Xavier had left, was burned into my mind.
I pushed away the want to ask her if she saw me now. The intense desire to kick her while she was down wouldn’t help me. Emilia had little care for what Xavier had put my family through, she was running on grief and survival instincts. Her husband’s dramatic fall from grace had left her a widower who was uncertain of her position in the family. She was figuring out how to ensure her safety. Xavier hadn’t even been buried yet and she was working out the next steps. That was the only way to survive in this life.
“I’d like to talk to Gabriel,” I told her. “Alone.” I couldn’t trust myself to be polite if she stayed. Plus, from the sounds of it, Emilia didn’t get her hands dirty. She’d reaped the benefits of Xavier’s work. She held my gaze for a moment before placing a kiss on her son’s cheek and leaving us.
“How can I help you?” Gabe asked, eyes on the grave in front of us. His pale skin and shock of blonde hair was a stark contrast to the black he was dressed in.
“I wanted to offer my condolences,” I told him.
Gabe scoffed and brought his eyes up to me, cold and hard, and I suppressed a shiver. “A strange sentiment for a murderer to offer.”
Murderer. Regardless of the circumstances that brought me to that point, murderer was exactly what I was. Only Emilio had ever pointed it out as blatantly as Gabe had, but there was almost a sense of pride when he’d said it.
“You’d have done the same.” That was how the family functioned and I wasn’t about to drown in guilt when I knew that every person in church today would have done the same thing I did if it meant they kept their life. I’d done what was necessary.
“I wouldn’t have been sorry about it.”
“I’m not.” Voicing it into the chilly March afternoon, I realised how true it was. I wasn’t sorry for what I’d done after everything Xavier had put me through. The initial horror had morphed into relief that we were no longer running from his scheming ways. For the first time in years, since I’d met Xavier, I felt free.
“You’ve passed on your false sympathies. Done your duty,” Gabe listed as if running down a checklist. “Is there anything else?”
“Did you know?” I asked him in return.
The wind whistled around us and Gabe stuffed his hands in his pockets. “No.”
