It was surprising how much fondness she still felt for the place, Florence thought, looking over her shoulder at the massive structure of Rainton Court. Now that her memory had returned, she remembered how it had felt during those first few weeks of her marriage, like a great stone prison, but now it saddened her to think she might never come back. Then again, maybe it was possible to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time and find a way to reconcile them into something positive. With places anyway. People were more complicated.
‘I’m going to miss you, my lady.’ Jane came to join her as two footmen staggered past, hauling a large trunk between them.
‘I’ll miss you too.’ Florence reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly for a couple of seconds. ‘I don’t know how I would have managed here without you. I’m just sorry that you won’t get to be a lady’s maid any more.’
‘Don’t worry about that. They’ll find me something to do, I’m sure.’ Jane looked down at the carriage. ‘Are you certain you don’t need me to travel with you?’
‘I have four grooms. I’ll be quite safe, don’t worry.’
‘Safe, yes, but bored out of your mind too, most likely.’
‘Perhaps.’ She smiled sadly. Truth be told, she was looking forward to having some time alone to think about nothing. Her mind had been whirling ever since the moment Rimmer had woken her with news of Amabel’s arrival. Now all she wanted to do was lean back, close her eyes andnotthink. Hopefully she’d manage to doze too, after getting next to no sleep the previous night. She and Leo had gone to bed in their own separate bedrooms, but knowing he was so close had done nothing to ease her inner turmoil.
‘Safe travels, my lady.’ Jane stepped away, scurrying off as Leo emerged from the house and walked towards them.
‘Florence.’ He looked as perfectly groomed as ever, though his face was drawn, as though he hadn’t slept either.
‘Leo.’ She pulled her shoulders back, wondering if he’d come to forbid her from leaving after all. If he did, it would truly mean the end for them.
‘Rimmer told me the carriage was being brought round.’ A muscle ticked in his jaw as he spoke. ‘Is there anything else you require for the journey?’
She shook her head, feeling relieved and a little disappointed at the same time. ‘No, thank you. Mrs Hotham prepared me a basket.’
‘Good.’ He turned his face to one side, his expression so pained that, for a moment, her heart stuttered and she almost relented.
‘Might I write?’ he asked, twisting back again suddenly.
She hesitated only briefly before nodding. ‘Of course.’
‘Thank you. I can let you know how the herd is getting on.’
‘I’d like that.’
‘And perhaps you could…’ his voice faltered ‘…if you want to, that is.’
‘Yes.’
She clamped her lips together, not knowing what else to say. They were being so polite, she thought, as if she was only leaving for a couple of days, while the memory of everything they’d said yesterday hung heavy in the air between them.
‘Florence,’ he cleared his throat finally, ‘I know it’s too late, but for what it’s worth, I truly am sorry for the way I behaved. Of all people, I should have known how hurtful it was. At the very least, I should have listened to you.’ He stepped forward to open the carriage door. ‘That’s all I wanted to say. I hope your journey is uneventful.’
‘Thank you.’ She paused as she climbed in, her throat stinging as she leaned back to lay a hand softly on his shoulder. ‘Goodbye, Leo.’
‘Goodbye, Florence.’
Slowly, she pulled her fingers away, keeping her gaze averted as he closed the door behind her.
‘I won’t be long,’ Florence called up to the driver as she stepped down from the carriage outside the village inn. Ironically, it was the one where she’d intended to catch the stagecoach to London when she’d run away. Now she was leaving openly, but she still had some unfinished business to attend to.
‘Florence!’ Amabel came racing across her private sitting room when she walked in. ‘I’m so glad you came! James has gone for a walk, so it’s only the two of us.’
‘Good.’ She put her hands out before Amabel could embrace her. ‘I’ve come to say goodbye. I’m on my way north, back to Cumberland.’
‘You’re going home?’ Amabel looked startled. ‘Because of what I told you?’
‘In part.’ She moved across to the window, looking back in the direction she’d come from. She couldn’t see the house from here, but she still felt a tug towards it. ‘And because my memory returned yesterday. It made me see my marriage in a different light.’
‘Oh.’ Amabel’s voice had a quaver in it. ‘Florence—’
