It was Jovanis’ turn to laugh. He didn’t understand how Tuck was able to pigeonhole his lifestyle. After all the moments and memories they shared, Tuck was in fact a bisexual man. Jovanis used to be too and although closeted, he’d now acceptedthe fact that he was gay. Tuck hadn’t reached that crossroad in his life yet.
“Tuck, let’s not do that.” Jovanis chuckled. “Me and you both know what it is.”
“I’m not playing,” Tuck countered with an austere expression. “I don't identify with that shit.”
“What shit? Being a gay man?”
“Nah, that’s you.”
Jovanis angled his head. “And what do you call two men fucking? That’s just what, sex?”
“Basically.” Tuck cracked his knuckles, avoiding eye contact.
“Yeah, a’ight. You can be in denial all you want but I know what it is. You do, too.”
Tuck peered at him in deep thought before he said, “You gotta understand, Van. My family would never go for it. Do you know how weak I would look if everybody knew that I was… on you?”
Their conversation ceased as they retreated to their thoughts.
“…Did you tell Noble? Is that how he already knew about me?”
Tuck’s gaze descended toward the stainless-steel table. “Yeah, but it wasn’t on no gossiping shit.”’
“What was it like then ‘cause I don't appreciate you telling that man my business.”
“Listen, I get it and my bad for that shit, but I accidentally sent him a text that was supposed to be for you. It had your name in it and… I was saying some wild shit in the message.” He grinned at the memory. “When I realized I sentit to the wrong person, I tried to delete it, but that nigga had already read it.”
“So, I’m assuming he confronted you about it.”
Tuck shook his head. “He never said shit. Noble ain't the man that go around gossiping. He also ain't about to question me about something that... he already knew about me.”
Jovanis’ eyes widened. From his understanding, he assumed that only he was privy to Tuck’s extracurricular activities. He had no idea that Tuck had displayed a propensity for being gay before him.
Tuck chuckled. “That nigga Noble be knowing all kinds of shit about people. I had someone that I fucked with and Noble found out. I don't wanna go in detail about it, but he literally caught us…”
“So, I’m not your only nigga?” Jovanis asked, slightly wounded.
“Nah, it was somebody before you but that’s it. I ain't dealt with another man other than you two.”
“So, Noble didn’t say shit? He never addressed anything? Just moved on with life and didn’t acknowledge who you truly are?”
Tuck rolled his eyes a bit. “The men in my family… we don't do all that gossiping shit. We address what’s important. All that other shit is irrelevant.”
Despite Tuck trusting Noble, Jovanis couldn’t. At any given moment, he could’ve revealed his secret and out him to TLM.
“I just realized something. You're a fucking hypocrite,” Tuck said, snatching Jovanis’ attention from his thoughts.
“How?”
“You trying to preach to me about accepting something that I’m not when you got a whole wife at home. Nigga, you ain't no better than me. You don't live your life out loud, so how you gon’ come at me when you on the same shit?”
Tuck had a point, but the difference was that Jovanis wasn’t in denial about his sexuality anymore. In truth, he accepted it.
“But I—”
“Visiting time is over!” the CO yelled.
Jovanis immediately got sad, knowing their time had come to an end. He hated this barrier between him and Tuck. Seeing him once a week wasn’t enough. Jovanis needed his lover back.
