The thought of Irish falling in love with Noble was equivalent to him drinking a bottle of poison. His insides burned with envy, prompting him to feel ill for most of the day.
“You gotta let that girl live her life, Van. Shit ain't fair. If she’s happy with my cousin, then let her be.”
“Then what? Who I’ma have if she’s wrapped up in him?”
Tuck sighed but didn’t verbally respond. Everything was so complicated in his life. In fact, his existence had always been so chaotic. He never got a chance to have an easy ride. Jovanis’ days had been filled with more peaks and valleys than Six Flags Great America.
“Say, bruh, stand on your own two feet. Why you always need somebody in your corner?” Tuck fussed at him.
He had no clue how much of a lifeline Irish had been to him. They went through so many troubling times together that it was easy for him to be codependent on her.
“I don't wanna talk about this shit no more. Next subject.”
“I see you keep that watch on.”
Jovanis glanced down at the Rolex and smiled. “This is my favorite one.”
Tuck leaned forward and picked at his nails. “I’m worried about you, bruh.”
Jovanis scoffed. “Now you worried about me. You ain't been worried. You been carrying on, avoiding the obvious.”
Tuck smirked. “What’s the obvious?”
“That you a selfish bitch and you allowed me to fall in love with you, knowing you didn’t feel the same way about me.”
Tuck licked his lips before giving Jovanis full eye contact. No one knew. There hadn’t been an inkling about their dealings with each other. Tuck preferred it that way, but Jovanis didn’t. After all the years of searching for a love to fulfill him, he found it in Tuck. Their love affair started after a night of drinking. Tuck paraded himself as this misfit that fucked different woman each day of the week. He was tough, a leader, and dangerous when the time permitted itself.
But then something happened. A look that the two shared was filled with a language that only gay men were articulate in. It was one that was an invitation and Jovanis gladly RSVP. It started out as one night of passion and bloomed into a full-on love affair. Jovanis had fallen in love with Tuck, and he expressed the same sentiments. But Tuck was in denial about his sexuality, leaving Jovanis all alone in their one-sided relationship.
“Do you know I’ve been lying to Irish for months? I've been telling her that I got a nigga and how he wants me to live out loud with him. When in reality, I’m talking about myself. I’m fucking depressed. I don't even stay at the house with her no more. I found me a place near the beach that I sleep at.”
“Why lie to her?”
“To protect you,” Jovanis gritted, becoming incensed.
Tuck looked around at all the families being reunited before biting his bottom lip. “What the fuck you want from me, huh? I’m in here and for a long-ass time. You whining to me when I gotta share a cell with a nigga I don't know. I gotta piss and shit in front of him. I don't get to go outside when I want. The food is horrible and on top of that, I gotta watch my fucking back. The nerve of you to come complain to me when I’m trying to survive.”
“I want you to acknowledge me. The fuck?”
“Okay, me and you fucked around.” He huffed, rolling his eyes.
“See.” Jovanis shook his head. “You see how you downplay our situation?”
“I don't,” Tuck denied.
“Yes, the fuck you do,” Jovanis whispered harshly. “How you gon’ say we fucked around when you confessed your love for me on a few occasions?”
Tuck scraped his teeth along his bottom lip. “I meant it.”
“Then, why can’t we be together?”
Tuck tipped his head back and laughed. Jovanis suspired, trying his best to keep his patience.
“You do realize that I’m in here for ten years, right?”
“Okay, you said that like it’s a barrier.”
“It is, though. I’m not on that type of time you on, Van. I’m not gay.”
