I couldn’t finish my sentence with him looking at me like that, like I was shattering every beautiful piece of him that still believed in love and light and laughter, like I was destroying the only good thing this fucking city had ever given either one of us.
“Tell me why, Olympia,” he said, firmly.
I shook my head as I backed away from him. I couldn’t do this. Not here, not now.
“I went to your cousin for permission with you,” he reminded me.
It was all coming to a head.
“I brought the Bexleys to you.”
Everyone else let me push them away. Why wouldn’t he let me push him away?
“I said I would do anything. Let me prove I meant it.”
“I–no, I–”
“I’m not a man who forces himself on a woman, Olympia. So if this is you telling me you aren’t interested, fine. But if this is you self-sabotaging, you need to tell me why–”
“I’m not having this conversation here,” I growled.
I fought back tears as I clenched my fists so tightly my nails cut into my palms. I will not cry here. I will not open the floodgates surrounding my heart and let my fear out in a torrent of tears. Not on this dirty street in front of a rebel hovel. And not in front of any man looking at me the way Harrison was now.
His gaze softened. Though the anger hadn’t dissipated from his expression entirely, there was something else in his eyes as well. Pity. He reached for me but I wrenched away.
“No,” I repeated, quieter, shakier.
“What are you afraid of?” he whispered.
“Not here.”
His jaw ticked but he nodded. He didn’t reach for me again, knowing I’d only pull away from him once more. Instead, he simply turned and walked off in the other direction, the one I knew led to his apartment. I glanced around one final time to ensure no one had overheard us before following.
Harrison walked ahead of me, posture rigid despite the easy way in which he strode on, like a man with purpose. I kept my head down, let my bangs obscure my face, and did my best not to be recognized. Wolf had eyes and ears everywhere, I was sure of it, and Bade could be anywhere at this point. I, and all of House Avus, had enemies which were beginning to become impossible to count. But still, I followed Harrison Fletcher all the way across the Third Ring to his apartment.
Because I couldn’t stay away from him.
I’d tried. Ever since that mark on his back had been revealed to the masses, I’d done everything I could to avoid him. I’d stayed on the First Ring as much as I could, slinking below only in the dead of night to check in on Wolf or the Bexleys or to follow Badebut admittedly, I found myself straying toward that apartment as well. Just to look in from across the street as he moved around inside, just to watch him turn out the lights and crawl into bed. It was sick, probably, and more than a little ridiculous, but I couldn’t help myself.
I’d neverwantedanything, or anyone, before. Even with Dante, I’d wanted the status that came with him, the higher probability of success in the Trials his partnership brought, and the approval of Cosmo and Myrine, but I’d only wanted those things because they were what Nascha had told me I needed to have. I’d never let myself want anything else. Now Dante was gone, however, and Milo was running things in an entirely different way than they’d ever been before. For the first time, I found myself in a position of being able towantand what I wanted was the man now holding the door of his apartment building open, biceps flexing as he frowned at my entrance. But wanting something and having the courage to reach out and take it were two entirely different things.
If I do something crazy,I sent to Luca before I let myself fully consider what I was doing,will you have my back?
There was a silence that seemed to stretch an eternity before he answered.
Without question.
I took a breath, feeling it rattle through my lungs as I did. My partner, my bonded, my best friend. I’d pushed Luca aside for so long and for what? To minimize the risk to a House now on the brink of war anyway? I’d pulled myself away from a relationship with the man the gods deemed my equal because of the politics, the optics. I’d kept myself away from the only friendship I’d ever wanted to pursue because it was what had been expected of me. But if I was going to finally give into my own desires, if I was going to let myselfwant,if I was going to start taking what I deserved, then I was going to take it all.
I never stopped loving you,I shot across that tether of time and space and whatever else created this ethereal connection between us.
Me either,he replied a moment later, softly.
I turned to face Harrison as he closed the door to his apartment behind us and turned on the light. He met my gaze and my breath caught. The light above us flickered, the electrical current so much weaker down here on the Third than up above, but I hardly noticed it over the buzzing within my own veins. Every hair on my body stood on end, hyperaware that we were alone once more, incredibly conscious of what had occurred between us the last time we were together in this apartment.
Harrison’s gaze dipped from my face to trail down my body and the temperature in the room increased tenfold. I knew he was remembering too. The searching gaze informed me that I only had a moment to say what I needed to say before it became far too late for conversation. I took a deep breath so I wouldn’t back out. Then I spoke.
“I believed you,” I told him, my voice almost a whisper. I didn’t have it in me to make this confession any louder than that, but he blinked at me as though he didn’t have the slightest clue what I was talking about so I had no choice but to explain. “The second you told me you weren’t a rebel despite the mark on your back, I believed you. I never really considered it a possibility. Even when Cosmo had you stripped of your shirt and accused before the whole city, I knew it was a lie becauseIknewyou.I…trusted you.”
