“We cannot. We can only have faith.”
Isla hugged me from behind, pulling me into her as my world shattered around me with what might have been the truth.
“We have only to turn our faces to the sky and ask: who have we forgotten?” Nascha continued, her voice taking on the hard edge of determination. “And is there any way to remember?”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Olympia
For someone who certainly thought of himself as high and mighty, far superior to those of the lower rings, Bade spent a lot of time down on the Second. At least, he had ever since Cosmo gave him a mysterious mission that had him bidding Luca a tearful goodbye and slinking around Avus at all hours of the night.
I’d kept an eye on him as best as I could, refusing to admit he might actually be craftier than I’d given him credit for. I’d only lost him twice and both times I’d found him again on the Second sniffing around the House of Harlowe. I wondered if Jude knew he had a spy in his midst. Then again, if he suspected he did, I imagined he’d think it was me. Snorting at the idea, I remained crouching while I made my way around the brick manor of some lesser known Second Ring family and watched as Bade snuck around the corner of the House, investigating every window, every door, for a weakness I knew he wouldn’t find. Jude was many things but careless wasn’t one of them.
Still, I couldn’t help but wish for some small amount of success for the Viper. I had, after all, been attempting to find a way inmyself. If he were able to do it, at least it would show I hadn’t wasted my time.
Bade wasn’t so lucky, however. After what felt like an eternity of checking every square inch of the House of Harlowe, the Viper gave up. He strolled back into the shadows and I slid out of my hiding spot to follow. I didn’t turn away until he made it all the way back to the First and inside his own House. Relieved he seemed to be turning in early for the night for the first time since we’d begun this little game of cat and mouse, I turned back to the stairs, happy to finally have some time to devote to my own tasks.
Trying to push Bade and what he and Cosmo could possibly be after from my mind, I descended down to the Third and turned down the street that would take me all the way to the west end and the bar Wolf frequented. I’d wanted to keep an even better eye on him than I had Bade but Milo felt differently. He claimed the Vipers were the more dangerous threat. Maybe he was right. If they were, in fact, a threat. Bade and Cosmo seemed to be spending their time sneaking around and spying on us while Wolf and his ilk were blowing up trials and killing witnesses. Not that it mattered what I thought. Milo and Nascha were in charge and I went where they said.
I sat in the shadows on the other side of the street from the bar for a few hours but never saw Wolf come out or anyone else go in which meant they weren’t having another one of their meetings. And if they weren’t having a meeting, they weren’t plotting another attack. At least, for now. I was just about to turn away and head back up to the First and my warm bed when a familiar voice interrupted.
“You’re ignoring me,” Harrison whispered against the shell of my ear. “Again.”
I jumped so hard the top of my head collided with his chin and I hissed, rubbing at the spot as I pulled away from him andglared back. He didn’t react, though I knew it must have hurt him too.
“I’m not avoiding you,” I snapped.
His eyes narrowed to slits. In the shadows as we were, Harrison Fletcher almost looked dangerous for a second. Almost.
“I did what you asked,” he reminded me.
My eyes slid to the quiet bar and the light glowing from inside.
“Keep your voice down,” I hissed in warning.
“Do you want me to beg?”
I just blinked at him, unsure if I’d heard him correctly given the new, thrilling low timbre of his voice. I backed away a step, warring with myself. Every instinct told me to run, that maybe this Third Ringer had become completely unhinged and I was the cause of it, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay and see how this played out. I wanted to believe I could take whatever he pushed at me. And yes, I wanted him to beg. Just a little. Or maybe a lot.
So I crossed my arms and gave one short nod.
“Go on, then,” I said, raising my chin when his eyes flashed in response.
“Fine,” he replied. “But if I get on my knees for you, beautiful, I’ll expect to be doing a lot more than begging.”
I fought hard to school my features into an expression of indifference so he couldn’t see how much his words had affected me. I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood but maintained my composure as, rather than kneeling, he took a few long strides toward me. He reached up and cupped my face, squeezing my chin between his fingers, hard.
“I have thought of nothing but you since the day I found you dangling from my window,” he informed me, voice rough with something I didn’t dare define. “Even when you fight me, even when you push me away, even when you ask me to turn againstmy friends and become someone I never meant to be. It’s you, always you, in the back of my mind calling me toward you. You can flay the skin off my back if the mark offends you so badly, but talk to me. Look at me.”
My eyes shot to his before I could help it. His hazel eyes were an endless chasm, a wilderness I could get lost in, a snare waiting to tangle me up and never let go.
“No,” I forced the word out but it sounded weak even to me. One word and it cracked, betraying me. I pulled myself back, crumpling within as I wrenched my jaw free of his hold and stepped away.
“Why?”
There it was. One word. So simple and yet so complicated. Everything we’d ever been, everything we might ever be, wrapped up within that question, within that one word. And I didn’t have an answer.
“I–I can’t–” My voice broke.
