I laughed. “So, my dad’s a truck driver. And he thinks road trips are fun. We were exploring Texas, and he wanted an authentic ranch experience.”
“Road tripping across Texas with six kids is a bold move.”
I laughed. “A boring one, too. But, to his credit, the Thompsons saw all the sites in about fifteen states. It was a low budget way for us to ‘see the world.’” I air-quoted dad’s old dream.
“Is that why he drives? He likes the travel?”
“I think at one point he did. But when our brother got sick, things changed for him.” I fought the swell of emotions that grew in my gut every time I spewed that half-truth. “He didn’t enjoy travelling nearly as much after that.”
“I get it. At least in part.”
“You travel all the time. Do you like it?”
He lifted a shoulder, stabbing at his chicken. “It can be fun, but it’s also a layer of stress. If I had a family, I’d struggle with being on the road so much. Thankfully, since it’s just me and Cade, we always go together.” He took a deep breath, and I heard the heaviness in it. “We’ve been able to make sure I only go on the long trips when school is out, but that’s not going to be guaranteed in upper levels of rodeo. I have no idea what I’ll do when I have a Thursday to Monday trip during the school year.”
I hummed. “That’s a lot of pressure. Have you considered not driving?”
“Yeah, but I got my Class A license last summer, and that’s not a cheap investment. I brought the conflict on myself, I guess. I’m a positive thinker, and I totally thought we were a few years away from the more intense schedule and figured Cade would be comfortableand old enough—you know, twelve or thirteen—to stay with Bea. But”—he raised his fork—“I think we are a ways out from him being comfortable.”
I hummed, thinking about that for a moment. “I’m not sure I agree. He did really well on Monday.”
Jesse looked at me, quietly chewing.
“When I went to get him from your cabin, he was clearly upset. His eyes were red like he’d been crying, but I gave him a hug and told him he was going to help me in the kitchen. Two hours later, he was fine.” I twisted on the bleachers, bringing my knee up between us. “I think, if you ended up having to be away from him a few days a month, he would be okay. And he would adjust much quicker than you think.”
His eyes roamed the empty arena beyond us. “Maybe the real problem is me.”
My heart burned with empathy for Jesse. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t know how to navigate it all either.
He sighed. “I should probably require him to do things on his own now and then, but I almost feel like our anxieties are one and the same. If he’s worried something bad is going to happen, usually I am too. So, it’s easier to just…stick together.”
Silence fell around us as I mulled that over. “I think you’ll know when both of you are ready for more space. You won’t need to push too hard.” I lifted my tone. “But, if you want him to hang out with me a few more times this summer, just let me know. He’s delightful.”
That made Jesse smile. “I don’t know how I ended up with such a fantastic kid.”
I knew how but refrained from commenting.
“Your girls are pretty fantastic, too.”
I smiled. “Thank you. They are certainly bundles of personality.”
His tone softened, quietly curious. “Do they ever get to see their dad?”
I took a breath through my nose, careful to keep it controlled. For a moment, I considered how to answer. The truth was humiliating in every way, and I wasn’t sure how raw he wanted me to be. And bad-mouthing Garrett still feltsoweird. Like the worst kind of betrayal.
I must’ve considered his question too long, because Jesse spoke up again. “I’m sorry if that was personal, Hollie.”
“No, Jesse, you’re fine. It’s a fair question. I was just considering how to answer.”
He waited.
“They haven’t talked to him since April.” My hands clasped in my lap, my thumbnail getting straight to work. “Our agreement says he’s supposed to get them every other weekend. But he just…doesn’t. Doesn’t pick up my calls, doesn’t Facetime the girls like he promised, doesn’t even respond to texts. The only reason I know he’s alive is because I get the company’s newsletter, and if he died they would definitely—” I stopped abruptly. “Sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry. I asked.”
I shrugged, heat lifting into my cheeks.
“Do they miss him?”
