He twisted his cheek with atsk-tsk-tsksound as his eyes bounced between the vehicles in indecision. “Maybe…maybe Cade would be alright if I drove with you guys then met back up with him at the ER.” Even as he said it, he swiped a hand through his hatless hair, drawing attention to the fact that his hands were still shaking uncontrollably. Yeah, he had no business behind a wheel right now.
I put on my big girl panties. “I’m sure I can figure it out. Wide turns, right?”
A surge of relief softened the lines in his brow. “Yeah…yeah, just wide turns. Especially right hand. Brake early. Take your time accelerating.”
“Surely I can manage.” I offered him my most reassuring smile. I brushed my fingers along his forearm, the touch feather light. “Will you be okay?”
He sucked a deep breath that expanded his rib cage. “Jury’s still out.” He made a soft laughing sound even though he didn’t really smile.
I smiled though. For both of us. “That’s fair.”
When he said nothing, I clapped my hands against my thighs and took a backward step toward the behemoth I was supposed to pilot through San Antonio traffic. “Well, I guess we’ll see you there?”
“Yeah,” his voice nearly disappeared before brightening. “Oh! You need keys.” He patted around his butt and side pockets until he produced a set of keys that probably weighed more than my purse.
My eyes bulged at the jangling set of metal.
A soft smile pulled into his face as he sorted through the key ring and held out the correct one. I took the key from his hand, our fingers brushing. “Thanks,” I said, suddenly sad to see him go.
With that, I jumped into the driver’s seat and had a miniature panic attack when I could barely see over the steering wheel.
“Do you want someone to come get you?” Mom’s voice sounded tinny though the phone.
The girls bounced along the brick path, spinning hand-in-hand as if the courtyard garden at the children’s hospital was made just for them. I trailed slowly behind them. The urban Texas air was hot, thick. The sun beat down on us and sweat dripped down my back. I’dprefer to find a cozy spot inside the hospital where there was air conditioning, but the girls needed a moment of freedom.
If I was smart, I would insist that a family member come get me. There was nothing for the girls and I to really “do” here at the hospital besides wait and hover.
I opened my mouth to say,“yes, have someone come get us,”but the words stuck in my throat. The memory of Jesse’s desperate hug and red eyes cut through my midsection every time I considered leaving. Something about riding off into the sunset while he waited to make sure Cade didn’t have airway trauma didn’t sit right with me. I, for one, wouldn’t want to wait alone. I knew how exhausting it was to be strong all the time, to be the level-headed one when you wanted to weep, and to be dependable simply because you were the only adult in the room.
Was he a single parent? I wanted to ask my mom, but didn’t.
She might read into it.
I lacked enough information to draw conclusions about Jesse, but that didn’t stop me from wondering about his situation. Why didn’t he pick up the phone and call Cade’s mother? Where was she? If something happened to the girls, I would immediately call Garrett, no matter what stood between us. Even if I knew he wouldn’t pick up.
“Honey? Did I lose you?”
I shook my thoughts back to the present. “No. Sorry. I’m here.”
“Let me talk to your dad and see if he will?—”
“I don’t know, Mom. I don’t feel right leaving Jesse.”
She went silent for a moment. “I’m sure he was shaken up. Understandably.”
“He definitely was.” The feel of his arms constricting me flickered across my memory. “My heart can’t handle the idea of leaving him alone.”
She gave a soft sigh. “You’ve always looked out for other people.” Wistfulness wove into her tone. “I love that about you.”
Compliments from my mother felt fake. Maybe they were real, but they chaffed against my heart nonetheless. Plus, looking out for other people never did me any good anyway.
“You think you’ll stay then?”
“Yeah, we’re going to stay.”
“Okay, Jesse is lucky to have you with him.” Lucky man—I wanted to laugh at the thought.
“Thanks, Mom. We’ll see you guys later. Hopefully in a couple hours.”
