Just his eager greeting brought the biggest smile to my face. “Hey. You picked up fast.”
“I’ve been waiting. You said you’d call in five minutes and it’s been thirty-five.” There was no frustration in his voice, just boyish eagerness. “Not that I’ve been counting or anything.”
I giggled, biting down on my lip. “What are you doing?”
“I’m laying on the couch. Cade went to bed a little bit ago, so I’m watching…” He paused. “I don’t know what the hell I’m watching. Some sort of Christmas movie on TV that is really dumb.”
“Oh! I can let you go so you can finish it.” Teasing him was so fun.
His chuckle through the phone warmed me to my toes. “If you think I’d rather watch a movie than talk to you, you’ve lost your mind.”
My phone buzzed in my hand, alerting me of an incoming Facetime call. I protested even as I smiled. “Jesse, I look like the walking dead right now.”
“Good. That’s my favorite. Answer.”
Giggling, I answered the call and turned on my camera. Jesse’s smiling face took my breath away and made my heart turn in my chest. He was laying on his back, one arm propped behind his head and wearing his olive green t-shirt—which was my favorite on him because it brought out the green in his eyes and made his hair lookmore red than brown. His scruff was turning into a beard and I wished so badly I was there to touch it.
“The walking dead, seriously?” He rolled his eyes. “You look beautiful as always.”
The curls around my face were frizzy and springy and I had the adorable zit I always got on my face every time I had my period. “And you look cozy.”
“This is a very comfortable couch.”
“Trust me, I know. Let me see the tree.” Jesse turned the phone toward the little Christmas tree Cade and Jesse decorated. It was so darn cute that I demanded to see it every time we Facetimed. “I wish I was there.”
He turned the phone back to his face. “So do I.” He tapped his chest. “Right here. We could watch this stupid movie together.”
I scrunched my nose in disgust. “Watch a movie? I could think of something a lot more fun.”
I loved the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. “Hollie Lynette, I’m offering to watch a wholesome family movie with you and your mind went straight to the gutter.”
I laughed too. “I can’t help it.” I was ready to lay on the couch, watch movies, fall asleep tangled up, and sip early morning coffee together. “I want to be there with you.”
“I want you here, too.”
“No, I mean, I want to be there with you. In your cabin. And not have to leave. I’m excited to see you on the twenty-third, but the thought of having to come back to Colorado again…” My throat grew tight. “I hate it, Jesse. I hate it so much.”
“Then don’t go back. Stay in Texas.”
My pulse lurched into a gallop. “But, I don’t have a place.”
“We’ve discussed this. Cade and I will move to the bunkhouse.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want that. I won’t be happy until we aretogether.”
His brow furrowed a bit as he tried to discern what I meant. A growl of frustration built in my throat. I didn’t know how to say what I wanted without getting on one knee and proposing to him. He was waiting on me though and wouldn’t ask until he knew I was ready.
We’d discussed at length that we wouldn’t share a cabin together unless we were married. If we were being technical, Cade and Jesse moving into the bunkhouse was a viable solution. I just didn’tlikethat solution. I wanted all of us to be together as soon as humanly possible. Plus, how long would I be able to send Jesse back to his bunkhouse every night? I scoffed at the mere idea.
He took a deep breath, his face serious but soft. “Alright. I want you to be honest.” We were always honest with each other, but I did sometimes need gentle prodding. “There’s some sort of scenario playing out in your head. Tell me about it. Don’t worry about it sounding crazy orsilly.” His emphasis on my favorite word did not go unnoticed. “Just tell me how you see the best case scenario playing out.”
“Okay. It’s pretty simple.”
“Go ahead.”
I drew a slow, shaky breath through my teeth. “When I come for Christmas, I want to move into your cabin. With you. And not come back to Colorado.”
He blinked a couple times, probably stunned and thinking I wanted to abandon our marriage-first plan. I didn’t want to abandon it, I just didn’t want to propose to him. And mentioningmarriagewould feel dangerously close. Also, cramming a wedding into our Christmas visit while Bea was ready to pop would be borderline insane. So insane that I was too chicken to even mention it. He started to nod, the wheels in his head visibly turning. But his silence stretched too long and worry curled around my heart.
