From the moment we met him, he had absorbed their chaos and big personalities, unafraid to connect with them. And ever since we left Texas, had he ever denied them a conversation? I wracked my brain, trying to remember. No, he never did. He was always thrilled to talk to them.
How did he know that this conversation—that didn’t even include me—was exactly what my heart needed? Jesse and I still hadn’t made promises to each other, we’d never even said the wordloveyet.
But it was there—hovering between us like an invisible chord, pulling us closer and closer.
If we moved to Texas, my daughters would have a father figure in their life.
Afather.
I wanted toweepat the thought of it.
Eventually, Jesse passed the phone to Cade who gave them anupdate on Blush—who was happily munching sugar cubes out of Cade’s palm now. When their conversation pushed forty-five minutes, I grew impatient and stole the phone away. “Okay, girls, my turn.”
Cade handed the phone back to his dad and the girls moaned. My mother, a true godsend, saw me wrenching the phone from their hands and called them into the kitchen to help peel potatoes. When his face reappeared, I whispered, “Hang on.”
Once I was safely tucked into my bedroom with the door firmly closed, I looked down at Jesse again. His smile stretched from ear to ear and bits of his auburn hair poked out around the sides of his cowboy hat. I rolled my lips, loving this man more than I ever thought possible. Tears slipped down my cheeks and I swiped them away with the sleeve of my sweater.
The excitement on his face vanished. “Hey. Are you okay?”
“I’m good—I’mgreat.”
“What’s wrong then?”
“It’s time for promises, Jesse,” I blurted, eager to say what I should’ve said months ago. My lips trembled as I pushed out the words. “I love you.” His lips dropped open a little as I knocked a fist over my heart. “I love you so much it’shurtingme.”
His breath tumbled out as he blinked a few times, stunned by my sudden admission. He briefly glanced away and when he looked back at me, tears lined his eyes, too. “Hollie, I love you.” His voice was low, a gentle purr I could curl up with. “I’ve loved you for months.”
“I’ve lovedyoufor months. Since the night we met, I think.”
He laughed even as a single tear raced down his cheek. I wished I was there to hold him. “When I slammed your head into the glass at McDonald’s?”
I huffed a laugh. “Yes, that was the moment I fell in love.” And maybe it really was. I remembered him—red-faced and giggling—and remembered me—mesmerized by his huge, genuine heart.
I’d fallen for him then.
And every moment after.
FORTY-SIX
Hollie
December 13th
Isat at the kitchen table, scratching a shopping list onto a pad of paper while Mom rattled off ingredients for all the Christmas dishes she would be making. She would schedule a grocery pick-up order at the Kerrville, Texas Walmart and pick it up the day after we all arrived at the ranch. The Thompson Christmas would be happening at Meadowbrook because Bea was so pregnant she could hardly walk. Her due date was Christmas so we would bring the festivities to her.
I was so excited to see Jesse.
Mom paused her talking, and my mind drifted away. Of course, I imagined our reunion, but I imagined our separation again just as much. Saying goodbye would tear my heart to pieces. I stayed in Colorado to work on myself and sort out the custody issue, but now that those things were done and I had a written order allowing me to move, when was the right time to go back andstay? Even though I’dgrown in leaps and bounds, there were still lots of areas in my heart where I struggled. I sighed, rubbing my pencil against the lined paper, absentmindedly filling a margin.
When could I call my healing good enough for Jesse and Cade?
Since our love confessions on Thanksgiving day, Jesse and I had talked about marriage, but he hadn’t officially asked me or anything. I told him I needed to work on myself for a while still, so he was probably waiting for some sort of green light.
Mom whistled, jerking me out of my thoughts. “Hello? Hollie?”
I startled back, dropping the pencil on the table. It rolled toward the edge and I caught it, straightening my spine. “Were you talking?”
She raised her brows. “Only for an entire minute while you stared off into space.”
