I must’ve been picking my cuticles. I hadn’t even noticed.
Heat rose up my neck as the belated stinging sensation called my attention. I glanced at the girls, happy to see them riding and not paying attention to their mom’s miniature breakdown.
Standing behind me, Jesse gripped my fingers, keeping them safe. His thumb drew a circle on the top of my hand as his voice fell like a low purr over my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I choked out.
He thought for a moment. “What are you most worried about?”
“That—you’ll think I’m nothing.”
A soft breath wooshed from his lungs, moving the hair on the back of my neck. His right hand landed on my hip with feather-light weight. The temptation to grab both of his hands and lace them around me, forcing him to hold me, coursed through my veins. He had no idea how wonderfully comforting he was. “I can assure you, Hollie. I will never, ever think that. But what’s important right now isn’t whatIthink. It’s whatyouthink.”
His right thumb gently swept over my hip, and my eyelids fluttered as butterflies stormed my torso. Swallowing down my feelings, I stammered, “I—I want to try again.”
“Atta girl.” He squeezed my hand tighter. “Repeat after me.”
I drew a deep breath, summoning scant belief from the tips of my toes.
“My name is Hollie Lynette.”
“My name is Hollie Lynette.”
“I prove how capable I am every single day…”
I forced the words out around the lump in my throat.
“By raising kind and loving daughters all by myself.”
My voice echoed his, every syllable wobbling with emotion.
I repeated him phrase after phrase as he poured plain truth over my aching soul. “I have everything I need to do anything I want. I don’t have anything to prove. But I’m going to try again andsucceedbecause I deserve giving myself my best. And I’m worth the time it takes to learn.”
Tears streaked down my face. Oh, I was so hungry to believe those things.
Jesse removed his hand from my hip, brushing my cheek with the top of his knuckle. “I’m gorgeous and smart and strong.”
I shook my head, “Jesse?—”
“Say it. We’re almost done.”
“I’m gorgeous…and smart…and strong.”
“And now, I’m going to mount this horse like Annie Oakley.”
A laugh gurgled from my throat as I said the words, tension rolling off of my shoulders. Jesse tugged my hand toward the saddle, settling in on the horn. I instantly missed the warmth of him when he backed away.
I grit my teeth. I could do this.
It took me five more tries.
On the fifth attempt, when I pulled, my leg soared through the air and clapped down on the other side. The saddle creaked under my sudden weight as I squealed with excitement. “I did it! I did it!”
Sprinkles mistook my enthusiasm as a signal, jolting forward.
“Whoa! Easy.” Jesse launched after the reins, holding her still.
“I can’t believe I did it!”
