Painfully aware of his presence, I looked away from him. “Because it’s easy, but I can’t do it.”
“It’s not easy. It takes practice.”
“I am not good at new things.”
“No one is automatically good at new things.”
“But especially me. I am—” My voice choked off. I shook my head. I looked so childish, crying over mounting a horse. Really, I just missed Jesse. And I missed Garrett for some stupid reason. And I hated that my life hadn’t given me a man that loved me. I wanted a good cry and a long hot bath. And now that I thought about it, my stomach kind of hurt. I bit down on my lip to still its tremble.
Jesse’s hand gently came to my shoulder. “Hey.”
I took a deep breath, willing myself to pull it together.
“Look at me, Hollie.” He slowly turned my shoulder to face him. “I’m going to ask you something and you need to be honest with me.”
“Okay.” I croaked.
“Do you want to ride? You don’t have to.”
I hesitated. “Sorry, Jesse. I’m being really immature. But I do want to.”
“You don’t have a single thing to say sorry for. Let’s pause for a second, and you let me know when you’re ready to try again.”
I gave his shoulders and arms a once over. “You look strong. Can’t you just toss me up there?”
He snorted. “Yes. I can. And if it comes down to that, I will. But, I don’t think the payoff will be nearly as good. What are you telling yourself?”
I frowned in confusion.
“I mean, what are you telling yourself about yourself as you try?”
I blinked, wondering if he’d somehow heard my negative thoughts. “You don’t want to know.”
“Try it. Saying the quiet things out loud takes their power away.”
My tears gathered with more ferocity. “Okay,” my voice wobbled as I reached out to pet Sprinkles. Her brown speckled fur brushing the palm of my hand instantly comforted me. “Um, I was thinking that this is a—bad day. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it, and that when I failed, I would cry and embarrass myself.” I gave a soft laugh as I realized that was exactly what had happened.
His voice was soft. “Man, no wonder you couldn’t get up there.”
I swiped my left hand down Sprinkles’ neck, thankful to have something to focus on besides Jesse.
“Part of learning something new is believing you can. I believe you can, Hollie. You’re gonna tell yourself something different, alright?” He took a deep breath. “Repeat after me.”
I shot him a sideways glance, confused as to where this was going.
“My name is Hollie Lynette.”
“Uhm…”
“Come on. Say it.”
I shifted my feet in the dirt, immediately uncomfortable. “My name is Hollie Lynette?”
“I am a badass.”
I huffed, my vision going blurry. “Jesse, I’m not going to?—”
He grabbed my left hand, pulling it out of my right. “No, no, no. Don’t do that to yourself.”
