“Because I had to prove I wasn’t cheating on you withLee Pope.”
“I’m not leaving till you dance.” He leaned against the hood, crossing his arms across his broad chest.
“Garrett, I didn’t come prepared to dance. These jeans are too stiff and these sandals have a strap between my toes.” Panic clawed up my throat. I didn’t want to dance in front of Garrett. I already felt stupid, like I might burst into tears at any second. He’d reduced this special place to a hormonal cry fest. Bringing him here was vulnerable enough on its own.
“You could always take your jeans off.” He rose his eyebrows once, smirking.
“No thanks.”
“You can’t dance for your husband? I’ll even pick the song.”
“I said I don’t want to.”
He scoffed, his playful demeanor draining away. “Then this was a waste of time.”
“No, it wasn’t?—”
“Are you crying right now? Seriously?”
My voice shook. “I feel kind of uncomfortable. Can we please just leave?”
“No. You said you like dancing here, so go. Hurry up so the car battery doesn’t drain”
The headlights started to burn my eyes. “I’m leaving.” I rounded my side of the car, and as soon as my fingers touched the handles, the door locks snapped.
“As soon as you dance, we’ll leave.”
TWENTY-NINE
Hollie
Present day - June
The ranch was unusually quiet for a Monday afternoon. All weekend, I’d stayed busy with guests and preparations for Tag, Bea, and Cooper to return home, and Jesse left for a rodeo before lunch on Friday. Even though he came to breakfast, we hadn’t talked again since our conversation in the barn.
Even though I was able to smile at my girls and take care of my duties, inside I was numb. My heart quivered under a burden I couldn’t understand. Homesickness blended with grief churned in my gut, and my every thought was storm-tossed and frantic. Before I left town, I worried Garrett would notice we were gone and demand me home per our parenting agreement, but…he didn’t even notice.
And thathurta lot more than it should.
He wasn’t good to me. I knew that. And the fact that I stillwantedhim made me wonder if I was insane. Why was I homesick for our instability? Why did Imissplacating him? Why did I feel lost at sea when I wasn’t winning his approval?
Eventually, I’d have to go back to our big house where all my dreams were laid to rest. But sitting in the mansion Garrett bought felt like waiting for him to come home—and that was a pipe dream. My brain was finally accepting the reality: he wouldn’t be back.
But, if we didn’t go home, where would we go?
We couldn’t hide out at Meadowbrook forever. And I couldn’t keep living with Tag and Bea. They’d be turning the spare bedroom into a nursery soon. Also, Jesse was here at Meadowbrook. Even though my imagination could dream up a beautiful future with him, it was just that—imagination. Because I was nowhere close to ready for another relationship and, if I stayed, Jesse and I becoming an item might be inevitable.
I needed to spend some time on my own, healing, before I eventhoughtabout another man.
I could get an apartment, but that house was the only home my children knew. They already felt the instability of their dad abandoning them. Was moving them to a new house really the right thing to do?
It suddenly seemed like the world held no place for us. By all accounts, I wasfree. Signing those divorce papers should’ve given me independence, but the soul-rending truth brewed deep within me, quietly dashing my heart to pieces.
My heart would always be his prisoner.
After cleaning up lunch, I walked outside to sit on the porch swing with the girls. It was breezy and I craved some warmth and fresh air after being trapped in the kitchen all day. Thinking about Garrett so many times over the weekend made me depressed. Sunshine would perk me up. I took the book I’d been reading, and the girls grabbed their dolls.
I rounded the corner of the wraparound porch, stopping short when I saw Cooper there on the porch swing. He wore a grey t-shirt and black gym shorts. Dark purple circles under his eyes highlighted his thick five-o’clock shadow on his unnaturally pale face. His gaze was heavy, roaming the distant landscape as his foot pushed the bench in a slow rhythm. The chains popped and creaked with the motion.
