“We can’t stay married for Kacey. We should be in marriages based on love and mutual trust.
“I have never stopped?—”
“Don’t, Jack.”
“I have loved you since the apple crisp, Miranda.”
My voice scraped. “Please stop.”
“How is that not enough?”
“Because it just isn’t. You—you weren’t there for me.”
My chest heaved. I didn’t want to dredge up the past. Didn’t want to think about the desperation I’d felt when I’d dropped a vase from a two-story window.
“You always said that.”
“And you never listened.”
The line of his brow hardened.
I shook my head. “Ireallydon’t want to talk about this.”
“Because you don’t love me back.” A statement he wanted me to confirm.
How could I confirm or deny that? In some ways, I was intoxicated with Jack. Still so smitten I felt giddy. Which was why our past hurt so deeply. How could someone who loved me disregard me in such a personal way? And why would I keep giving myself to him?
I’d be dumb to keep trying.
There were only so many pieces of my heart I could lose.
When I needed a shoulder to cry on, he didn’t pull me close. When I was too lost to get out of bed, his side was cold. When I was drowning in grief, he closed the door. When I felt like my life was ending, he told me to move on.
When I wantedhim, he gave me freaking flowers.
Flowers.
Because he didn’t know how to give himself.
I couldn’t face more hard things with Jack. My life was hard enough as it was.
He jerked my thoughts back to his statement. His voice was a tender rasp. “Do you?”
I sighed, “I can’t.”
He pressed his lips together, brushed his hands down his thighs. Wouldn’t look at my face.
“I’m sorry, Jack. We were broken long before Kacey.”
He nodded, scrubbing his jaw again. The sadness in his voice gutted me. I closed my eyes, wishing I could protect myself from the harrowing sound of it. “Okay, I’m going to hit the hay. We can”—he stood—“figure out some of the other details later.”
THIRTY-NINE
Then
Jack
The sun was coming up, finally lighting the sky around 6 a.m. I worked an overnight shift. Picked it up, actually. Department was a little short-staffed per the usual. I was eager to get home and peek in on Miranda.
