I am a hot mess. An absolute mess.
Pat’s journey was such a winding road already. My brokenness would only complicate it for him. That much I knew.
I tried to smile and nibbled at my cupcake.
FORTY-FIVE
Patrick
I’d been so bogged down trying to get everything in order at the garage, that it took a few weekends to get Jules over to Pleasant Gap house. But she was here now. All the things I’d been wanting to say threatened to rush out of my heart without permission. And good gracious, I missed the woman more than I ever thought I would.
Her arms coming around me dislodged the achy feeling I’d been carrying. We kissed for a few moments, savoring the renewed close proximity.
She drew back a little breathless. “Okay, if you’re going to give me a tour of this place, we better do it before it gets dark.”
“Right.”
I led her around the back. My eyes were glued to her face as she took in the spacious, fenced-in yard. I’d done a lot of work to clean the place up: trimming bushes, painting, moving old trash and decrepit benches, updating the endless list of outdated fixtures.
Mama’s bushes were mostly bare, but the stone walkway Daddy and I had put in was still beautiful, winding in and around the garden.
“Mama’s veggie garden was always in the fence. She grew a million varieties. I don’t know how she kept up with it all, especially being such a successful business woman too. She was tough as nails. Capable of more than the average lady, I figure.”
I grabbed Jules’ hand and led her down the driveway to the workshop. I showed her the truck I’d been working on, how I’d tidied the place up, and the spare closet I turned into an office. After that, I pulled her toward the edge of the property and into the field.
“Now for the part I really want to show you.”
She was quiet. Listening. Taking it all in. I wanted her to fall in love with the place. Wanted her to picture herself here with me.
“This is the path I’d take night after night. First time Daddy caught me sneaking down here, he snatched a branch offthattree right there”—I pointed across the yard—“and let me have it.”
She giggled.
“In the summer, it’s so loud coming down here. So many sounds. So much life. Listen now.” I pulled her to a stop.
Her eyes flitted across the field. The wind lifted her hair off her shoulders and whipped it around her face. “Just wind,” she said.
A smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. Having her here with me was like a healing hand. Made the pain to get back to this place worth it.
We walked the rest of the way in silence.
Her lips turned up when we stepped past the line of trees to the riverbank. “Wow.” She puffed out a breath, the wind whisking the warm fog away. “I can see why you love it here.”
“Yeah, kind of magic, huh?”
“Oh yeah, totally magic.” Even without the flowing greenery and beckoning heat, the place was a bit of a wonderland. A tiny slice of paradise.
“The old hammock rotted out. I had to replace it.” I plopped down in the new one and patted the space next to me.
She sat, but her body was stiff.
“Cold out here, isn’t it? We can go in.”
“No, no.” She shook her head. “It’s fine. I mean, yeah, a little cold. But I want to be here.”
She sat next to me, and I swung the hammock back just a bit.
“You miss her?”
